Homeschooling, that is.
A while back I mentioned that I’d never mentioned to my folks that we have no intention of enrolling our youngest two children in school when they reach Kindergarten age.
I finally spilled the beans. Actually, I wasn’t even brave enough to spill the beans. I was backed into a corner when my mother of all people, asked if I was planning to enroll Lil’ Princess into a four-year-old pre-k program this fall. You know, because it would be good for her. At that point, all my reasons for procrastinating faded away and I jumped in with both feet.
Me: Well, uh, we’ve decided that we’re going to homeschool them.
The response: Do you have your license?
Me: I don’t need a license.
This opened the door for me to offer a bit of intelligence and explanation of homeschooling and all that it entails, as far as what’s required in our state. The initial skepticism remains, though I’m sure in time I’ll have their full support.
While I was prepared for a bit of skepticism, and even a bit of opposition, I still found myself feeling compelled to address the “socialization” aspect. This, even though we have a house full of kids, live near countless cousins, and am in constant fellowship with other people. What is it about that socialization aspect that we have swallowed hook, line, and sinker?
Right now, I’m just relieved that the conversation has finally begun. It’s one that will be ongoing for a while, I’m sure.
At least until it becomes obvious that we know exactly what we are doing, and that the kids are well-educated, appropriately socialized, and all around okay.
Wow. I don’t think anyone ever asked me if I need a license before! I have been asked if I’m allowed to do that, which is a sad commentary on how much power people in this country have given the state in their own lives. So glad you’re homeschooling! Welcome to the club!
Welcome to the homeschooling club! We’re starting our 6th year of homeschooling TODAY! I’m so excited!
I never understand the “socialization” question. Why would I want my children to be “socialized” at a government school? Your children will have plenty of opportunities to be around family/friends/church and will be just fine.
God bless you and your family as you do this! Have a blessed week!
You knew this day was coming! All the best in your continuing conversations…
@Cindy: yes, I was taken aback by the license question, too. But I do understand that the compulsory schooling laws have made many people think that only “licensed professionals” are allowed to teach.
@Emily: I used to wonder about socialization, too, when I first began to investigate homeschooling. Until I stopped to think about the fact that not all socialization is desireable.
@ Mrs. C: Yes, I did know this day was coming. I think the continuing conversations will be good ones…
I am glad you were able to get over the initial disclosure. When you homeschool, you just need to realize that a thicker skin is often in order. The comments/questions can get tedious, but mostly people come around to being supportive even if they never have an understanding of it.
Terry, way to go! And, welcome to homeschooling (although you *have* been doing it since your sweet daughters were born! The only thing that changes is the material!)
At least you dropped the H word prepared – with your resolve and arguments in ready. Socialization is the big 4letter word of homeshooling. UGH. it’s the only thing people beat us up over. . . . I often reply something like this. . . “You’re social, how often do YOU gather in cinder block rooms with 29 other exact same age people for fun” Homeschoolers live in a real world with real relationships. We work a little harder for them, we drive, plan, initiate but in the end the quality is worth the effort.
Yay! I am sure this is a relief to you. I have been asked about a license a lot of times over the years. I have always thought it a weird question, but people really seem to have no clue how one would go about starting to home school so it is a good opener to let them know the laws of the state and so forth – and I can tell they often think the laws are too lenient! Sometimes it assumed that because I have my degree in Elem.Ed that it is okay for me to teach at home.
Re Socialization: We hire a kid from down the street to come by once a week, call my kid a dork and steal his lunch money.
We took the same static when our daughter transferred to the State University from the local community college. I made it clear she was not living on the campus. You’d think I was tying her to a post and torturing her, the way other parents criticized me.
Two months later, she drove home, and happily thanked me for not letting her go into that horrid mess. She said it felt really good to be going down the Interstate at 55 mph, with her favorite music on, while the other girls were involved in all sorts of horrid things.
She made friends with the professors and graduate students, and was the only undergrad student to go on a major astronomy expedition, to the eclipses in Mexico. She had superior socialization.
Sorry, there was only one eclipse in Mexico, typo.
Yay! for Terry the brave!!!
As for the socialization question, my answer is to ask them how often they are in groups of people that have been segregated to include only their own exact age and (approximate) intelligence… since they’ve gotten out of school that is. The answer is, of course, never. Then I agree with them that proper socialization is a huge concern to me too- I want my children to learn how to relate to groups and individuals of all ages, interests and capabilities and that’s one of my main reasons for homeschooling. Then I usually smile and change the subject;-D
As for the license thing… yeah, believe it or not I deal with very similar issues. I have multiple degrees in education, have taught in classrooms, worked in administration… I’ve even served as the Special Services Coordinator responsible for two counties worth of HeadStart programs, but my parents still hit the roof when they heard that I was going to homeschool my son. Very odd since I all of the girls were at home… so yeah. The ensuing discussion was the one and only argument my mother and I have gotten into since I was a teenager. They still don’t approve of my homeschooling, but they don’t say too much anymore (except to point out when they feel the kids are “behind” in anything. sigh)
Welcome to homeschooling, you are gonna love it. And you’re gonna do a great job too!
When people talk about socialization, I feel like they are comparing our kids to the creme de la creme of schools. They seem to forget the “less desirables” or odd balls. Not that that’s an argument one way or another, just an observation.
Schools pull kids away from primary relationships and put their peers as their primary influences at a very young age. While many might take issue with homeschooling for the long haul, I’ve found many to see the logic and wisdom in this point. It’s diffused a lot of criticism. I have the luxury of a teaching degree (high school, but people seem satisfied with that), which of course I put little faith in. It did, however, make me do a lot of reading on public education that made me think that was the last place on earth in which I’d want to educate my own little children!!! My child is not a product of a factory.
I feel sorry for our kids who have to be the “face” of homeschooling – the same way pastors’ kids live under a microscope. I have to fight the urge in me to make my oldest act/say things a certain way “represent” well. I imagine that struggle is just beginning.
Terry (I love the idea) I never realize this was the norm among many black families years ago….I didn’t know that a lot of black families kept their children out of public schools and taught them at home….I once associated the homeschooling movement with white conservative who didn’t want their kids around others…But I found out that’s not the case.
After reading and doing some research I believe private or homeschooling my son would have been the answer that I so desperately needed back then. Good luck!!
Thanks for a the supportive comments, especially on the question of sociaization. It’s not as if all socialization is good socialization, you know?
Our families trust that we are responsibe parents who woudn’t knowingly make a decision not in our kids’ best interest. For the most part, the questions stem from a lack of exposure to something different. That, coupled with an assertion made by my BIL:
Pubic school served me (and you for that matter) just fine,
Is the root of most of the skepticism. One thing I often say to older parents is that public school in 2010 is not the same as it was when they attended, or in 1977 when I started, or even 1999, when my firstborn entered kindergarten. I am often left stunned by the changes (for the worse) in just the past 11 years. It’s amazing. And the changes are not just moral and cultural. They’re educational, too.
While I am not at all one of the “homeschool only” crowd, I would most certainly caution Christian parents who use the public school system to pray ferevently, tread carefully, be extremely involved and watchful, and take nothing for granted.
Terry I so remember what that is like! I did the same a little over ten years ago and I still remember the place and the look on the faces of both sides of our family (we told them all at once). God bless you and your precious family. Socialization? Not a problem AT ALL!! There are so many more appropriate ways for children to become socialized! School is not the only option and in my opinion often hurts and not helps in that area.
Hope you have a great school year! Ours started today tenth grade and fifth grade. I’m exhausted but I feel oh so blessed to serve my children in this way!!!
I’m the mom who hasn’t homeschooled. My kids are in public school in Florida. And you know what? Good for YOU and THOSE GIRLS, Terry. Because if I ever had any more children, they would not be in school.
I see it in my own children. The habits they bring home from other children. The cursing. The racism. The disrespect. If that is socialization, they can KEEP IT. At our church, I notice the children who are most comfortable around others, who volunteer the most, who speak eloquently. They are the homeschooled ones. Stick with it, Terry.
Forgive me for sounding so judgmental in my previous comment. When I said it was the last place I’d send my little children, that was what I was thinking as a 22 year old graduate student coming across the idea of a factory model school for the first time. It was my gut reaction and my abhorrence of the desire for the gov’t. to socialize the immigrant kids in the big cities away from their parents and old life and into a new “American” mold that they could better control.
I obviously think you wise, or I wouldn’t waste my little time reading your blog. I in no way meant to criticize anyone’s decisions, as I don’t know the people or their stories…
Hey Terry, good for you and I am glad to hear it went relatively smoothly for you.
The few times I have mentioned our consideration of homeschooling for Selah to my family members, I get the looks of concern, the “Nicooollee….”, and of course the inevitable comment about socialization. And in their defense, I used to think the very same thing about homeschooling… until I actually met some families and children who homeschool! I think often the criticism and cynicism comes from ignorance.
And blessings on the beginning of your school year!
“Pubic school served me (and you for that matter) just fine,”
Yes, it was adequate, but oh, how I wish I could have had the education we’re attempting to give our boys now, and without all the negative peer pressure I was so sucked into then. I feel beyond blessed to be learning things right alongside them that I was not afforded in my public school education (Latin, in-depth world history, Biblical history and worldview, rhetoric, to name a few). Homeschooling parents truly get a second education, and I’m constantly realizing what I missed the first go round.
Good for you, Terry.
) It couldn’t have been easy to make yourself vulnerable to your mother that way. But you must, MUST, do as you see fit for your children; if you & your husband have decided that the Princess & Sweet Pea just aren’t going to attend public school, I would hope people (including relatives) realize that this is no sudden, knee-jerk reaction on your parts. I, too, have seen the changes & trends in public education that you’ve addressed, & I feel quite certain that if I had it do do over again I wouldn’t let the government schools have my children.
Best of luck to you this Fall. Little Princess will do just fine…..I’ll bet you’ve planned some wonderfully fun things for her to do!
Brenda
Well done!
Regarding socialization, the way I think of it is this; if you have an immature adult, would it make him mature if you put him in a room with 20 five year olds?
Why, then, a five year old? One learns social skills from the mature, not peers.
Oh honey, just wait until they are in the 7 or 8th grade and people start asking you if they are going to go to “real high school.” When you say no, 90% of people will say, “But what about the prom?” I kid you not.
Go Terry!
I love the socialization question.
Socialization? Yes, we’re VERY concerned about socialization. That’s a large part of why we’ve chosen to homeschool!
R.C.Sproul (in When You Wise Up) said it better.
“Sometimes I ask those who raise this objection ['What about socialization?], ‘Now, when you speak of socialization, you’re talking about my child’s ability to get along with others who are different. Is that it?’ Usually I get some sort of affirmative response. ‘I see,’ I go on, ‘and your solution is for my ten-year-old to spend seven hours a day stuck in a room with a bunch of other ten-year olds?’
…But this isn’t really what people mean by socialization. What they want for my daughter is for her to be hip about all the things other ten-year-old girls are concerned about, like fashion labels, television shows, pop singers, and other essentials to the good life. They are concerned that my daughter is not under the sway of Madison Avenue, that she is free. But I have none of that concern. I raise my daughter, her sisters, and her brother to be free. Their identity is in Christ, not in pop culture.”
We get this from the in-laws. We are obviously dangerously deviant religious lunatics because our kids know more about George Washington than Justin Biebur.
*sigh*
We honor our parents, but we know Who we live to please. You’re going to fly
Julie