I ran across some information a while ago that as a mom I found rather unsettling. If you’re familiar with the story of Peter Pan you know that he lived in Neverland, a magical place where childhood never ends. It seems that Neverland is no longer the stuff of fantasy. The medical and scientific community have concluded in recent years that adolescence-the final stage of childhood-ends at or around age 25. Yes, I said that 25 year-olds are now considered adolescents.
Given the progress and advancements of the last century it would stand to reason that this generation of young people would be better equipped to handle life and the responsibility of adulthood, not less. It’s obvious that somewhere along the way we took a wrong turn. The worst part is that rather than admit that our culture is failing to do an adequate job of raising our kids, we’ve deluded ourselves into believing that this current generation of adult kids remains so because of genetics.
60 years ago, when my grandmother-in-law married at the age of 17, she knew how to manage a household, handling far more than the average housewife of 2011. She had been taught by her mother how to cook, clean, sew, bake, garden and be an all around effective wife and mother. Her young husband had the knowledge and skill to build the home where they would raise their 10 children-with his own hands. I challenge you to find a twenty year old today who can balance a checkbook, let alone build a house and manage a household. There are exceptions I’m sure, but by and large we have a generation of young people who, like Peter Pan, simply refuse to grow up, and their parents are willing accomplices in this folly.
We have a populace that is more educated in terms of theory and technology, but without the practical skills required to manage the day to day affairs of life. We have a society of young people who go through life playing pretend versions of real life without actually living it.
With three children on the cusp of adulthood, this is an issue I’ve pondered quite a bit. My husband and I have our minds fairly settled on the reality that our girls will not be full-grown adults, capable of shouldering the level of responsibility that was expected of young men and women when our grandparents came of age, and we’re okay with that. We are in no mad rush to be done with parenting so that we can get on with “living our own lives.”
At the same time, the idea that our girls, at aged 21 or 22, would not be mature enough to handle some of the basic responsibilities required of adults doesn’t set well with us either. Both of us lost our mothers at young ages and know something of what it is to find ourselves navigating (out of necessity) the reality of handling life. Yes, we had our fathers, but our fathers, both good men, are both men who were largely invested in keeping us out of trouble and teaching us to swim in the sea of a world they viewed as hostile to young black people. In other words, we had to learn to “suck up” things that our mothers may have nurtured us through more gently.
Our goal is to attempt to raise capable young people who are free to grow and learn as they live their lives but who are also prepared to handle responsibility rather than expect their father and I to care for matters that they should be fully of capable of handling themselves. I’ve seen far too many parents intervening on behalf of high school students who didn’t turn in assignments, failed tests, or missed deadlines rather than allow their kids to live with the results of their irresponsibility. This is a terrible precedent to set, and it lays the ground work for teaching our kids that bad decisions have no adverse consequences.
As a parent, I feel it is my duty to raise children who are able to accept responsibility, serve their fellow man, and view commitment as something to be embraced rather than feared and avoided. And while I am thankful for the progress and advancements of this generation, I think there is much we can learn from those who have gone before us. After all, truth and values are timeless.
I actually don’t disagree with the idea that “childhood” ends at twenty-five, nor do I believe this is necessarily a bad thing. In much of the reading I’ve done on generational theory and similar topics the age of twenty five marks the time a young person has lived long enough to have developed a strong enough life philosophy, ethical systems, and understanding of morality. It is only once this mere pondering and experimentation is done that a young person can begin to engage the world as a true moral and upstanding adult for these tools are so essential in negotiating the trials of the adulthood.
Birth to twenty four is the age of learning; this is the spring of life in which seeds are planted to be cultivated for a beautiful late spring harvest. Twenty five to fifty-ish is the era of doing. Spring has turned into a beautiful summer and now we reap what we have sown into the continued harvest of early Autumn. As the beautiful colors of autumn drift to the ground fifty arrives and winter begins to ravage our bodies, causing us to reflect inward and look to the past for wisdom to impart to the next generation as our life comes to an end.
I was a twenty year old who could not only balance a checkbook and manage a household but had sent my young husband off to war, comforted a friend moments after she became a twenty one year old widow, and gave birth to a child all before I turned twenty-one. Despite all of this practical experience I don’t necessarily believe I was a “real” adult at that point when it came to philosophy, ethics, and other areas of life beyond the material. In fact I often felt as if I were “cleverly masquerading as a responsible adult” and wondered if such feelings would ever end. Eventually they did, oddly not too long before my twenty fifth birthday last winter…right on time as all the books suggested. (FWIW my husband would also agree…and he was leading men in combat when he was in his early twenties.)
Despite all the responsibilities, commitments, and other marks of adulthood that were mind by the ripe young age of eighteen there is a huge difference between who I was then and who I am now seven years later. All of the “adult responsibilities” were certainly formative experiences that impacted the inner work I needed to do but they themselves weren’t the only experiences that “made a woman out of me”. This reality isn’t disturbing or unwelcome by any means. If anything we should encourage young people to appropriately explore and investigate and challenge themselves in the spring so that their roots are strong and grounded come the summer. To everything there is a season!
Good morning, Daisy! Thanks for your thoughts.
Couple of things: First, the post you commented on was a mistakenly published, unfinished, updated revision of an old post so I’ve added some thoughts that weren’t in the version you saw in your Google reader. You might find upon a quick re-read that we’re not as far apart in our thoughts as it initially seemed.
Despite all the responsibilities, commitments, and other marks of adulthood that were mind by the ripe young age of eighteen there is a huge difference between who I was then and who I am now seven years later.
I do disagree with you slightly, and ironically, I think your own life story (and your husband’s) proves my point. I was a young bride, too, by today’s standards though not as young as you were, and my husband is almost 2 years younger than me, so I get where you’re coming from.
I don’t believe that being responsible, capable, and decisive are mutually exclusive character traits from being teachable, growing and changing. On the contrary, I think having a solid foundation of values and principles means that one must grow and change.
Even at my “advanced age”, I am still growing and evolving; in my mothering, in my approach to learning, in my faith, in many areas. This is a part of life. But I actually believe a lack of a stable foundation and appropriate response to responsibility -including running away from it
- short circuits one’s ability to grow in a healthy way. Does any of that make sense? I hope so because I fear it was a bit too “rambly”, lol.
But I still think the idea that childhood ends at 25 is a bit of overkill. 25-year-olds should be full-grown adults in my book. Not stagnant, rigid, or unwilling to change and grow. But able to make adult decisions and handle adult responsibilities.
When considering that hardship forces people to grow up who otherwise would not want to earlier than they absolutely had do, it’s easy to observe the effects of today’s relatively easy living compared with prior generations. Reading of the old pioneer generations the necessity of growing up early, often too early for the good of the young people, was required simply because of the stresses inherent in surviving.
In other less affluent cultures, delay is not an option. I think that will be true again in our culture should/when we go through economic conditions similar to those that our grandparents lived through.
LOL, jumping a bit ahead of you, huh?
I re-read before making this comment.
Ultimately I do not agree with the idea that adulthood comes once a person has mastered a certain set of practical skills but is something more profound and important than balancing a checkbook. All of the practical skills you have in mind are important for sustaining life and its physical comforts but they aren’t formative experiences that launch one towards greater life understanding or significant leaps in maturity and insight IMHO.
On the contrary, I think having a solid foundation of values and principles means that one must grow and change.
I agree though I do not believe an eighteen year old can possess a truly solid foundation no matter what their background. Parroting of their parents’ values and ethics, sure, but not the strong understanding of these important organic systems that can sustain through the worst of moments. It takes an additional few years of living, making mistakes, and refining a life philosophy to reach the cusp of authentic adulthood. An eighteen year old may certainly be a “young adult” (and that is perhaps a more welcome phrase for many than “childhood”) but they are by no means the owners of as solid a foundation as somebody who is just a few years older. They simply have not yet had time to refine their positions and come to an understanding of the adult world on their own or test out their ideas and theories in the game of life.
We certainly grow and change throughout our lives but much developmental psychology and also the generational theory I referenced above supports the idea that we focus on different areas of growth and understanding throughout our lives. Erickson’s Psychosocial Stages is one such theory. In our youth we must develop a system of life sustaining philosophy, a strong work ethic, and a sense of self and self-awareness so that we can mature into the other stages of growth later on.
Consider the divide between generations and how the same current event or latest fad or political movement can affect each age group in different ways and present wildly different understanding and reactions. Such happenings showcase well the different needs at various life stages and are the core of generational conflict and the ever ubiquitous cries of “kids today!” Like much “peaceful conflict” these differences are good and essential for societal health. We need the young to be progressive and looking for ways to better the future while the aged look to the past and impart wisdom during times of change. The tug and pull between the two finds a reasonable moderation between safety and adventure.
This idea of “extended” youth and a time to develop a mature life philosophy is nothing new. It’s even reflected in the law of this land in the ages one most have reached before they can serve in various elected offices. Legally speaking we allow young people to take on a multitude of responsibilities while still reserving a select few privileges for those who have had more time and life experience to reflect on the immaterial realm and test out how the world really works. Oftentimes the experiences from the “legal at eighteen” responsibilities (including marriage and military service) are essential for possessing the understanding necessary for success in the “legal after eighteen” privileges.
Ack I wrote a novel.
Kohlberg’s theory of moral development is another thought I should have mentioned while bringing up Erickson. http://faculty.plts.edu/gpence/html/kohlberg.htm
In stages 3 & 4 exist the “young adults” in their teens and twenties. This group focuses primary on order for order’s sake and do not yet posses a deep understanding of why we have societal laws and decorum. They have accepted that a system exists and that it is good but have not yet asked the hows and whys and thus have yet to reach a mature adult understanding of morality, ethics, and values. It is not until stage 5 that a well formed intellect develops to ask the hows and whys of morality on an individual level and in society as a whole and thus the authentic adult emerges.
Ultimately I do not agree with the idea that adulthood comes once a person has mastered a certain set of practical skills but is something more profound and important than balancing a checkbook.
Agreed, but given the numebrs of teenagers I’ve met who can’t even do a load of laundry, you have to start somewhere, lol.
But seriously, once again I don’t think we’re that far apart and I don’t think that having principles and values at the age of 18 is necessarily an indication of “parroting the views of our parents.” Honesty, work ethic, assertiveness, etc. are character traits that are not traits that any religion has cornered the market on.
My overall point is that we, as parents, can do things to make the ground of our children’s intellect fertile for healthy growth and we can do things to stunt that process. I’ve made a few mistakes in that area I’m sure, and I see many parents raising kids incapable of making decisions. The practical things are not the most important to be sure, but we learn a lot through learning practical skills, and many young people miss out on that.
Well, Terry. I’ve got to say that your initial article and the back and forth between you and Daisy is intriguing. Maybe I’ll have a coherent thought later, but wanted to toss down a comment so the continuing discussion will show up on my reader
Just speaking from my own experiences and observations, I feel that I matured at about 21. I, as I like to say, “stopped being stupid.” My youngest sister (who is now 23) was a very mature teenager. And my middle sister is 27 and I am still wating for her to mature…
My grandma and my mom both married as teenagers, my grandma was a mom by 19, my mom bought a house by 22. Perhaps life experiences made them more mature earlier (although not from hearing them talk about it). But there are downsides…my grandma divorced in her 40s. My mom didn’t have the opportunity to go to college as a young adult (she was able to go after my youngest sister started school).
Terry,
I too find the study disturbing. I can just see the glimmer of pay day in a defense attorney’s eye as he is contemplating on using this defense to get his sociopathic 18-25 yr old client off the hook for a heinious crime.
Adulthood started much younger as JD pointed out because of necessity. The past few generations including my own have been shielded from much of that necessity. True we make silly mistakes in those crucial years but lowering the bar of expectation only cripples what little expectation of accountability we have.
I am often told by my friends that I am not allowing my 11yo daughter to have a child hood bc she has chores along with her Pre AP courseload. My comment to that is that all children need to know how to be well rounded and somewhat self sufficient. No they won’t have the knowledge and experience of adults but that doesn’t mean they can’t learn. A lot of the survival skills I have now are skills I learned at her age. I need more time to read all the comments but I am enjoying what I have read so far!
I think there are two parts to this, learning life skills which I agree should be taught early and mastered early; and physical maturity of the brain. It has been proven that the brain is not fully mature until the twenties. Therefore an 18 year old girl can be fully capable of caring for herself in all of the practical life ways, balancing a checkbook, my eleven year old can do that, laundry, cooking, cleaning, caring for babies. The problem comes in how they process information and how they make decisions. Most (not all) in their early twenties still need the guidance of their parents or others in this area and it is not because of any fault of theirs or their parents it is just a growth process.
I agree with you Terry that back in pioneer days folks married younger but the also stayed close (often in the same home) with one of the couple’s parents. Guidance was provided. Think back to your early twenties most of us admit we were not completely ready and able to make decisions on the level that we did in our thirties and for oldies like me forties.
Teach your kids basic life skills early on but don’t be surprised and dismayed to find that they are still in some form of late adolescence in their early twenties. Also remember that in all things human beings develop differently. Some children and teens mature faster than others. Girls tend to mature faster than boys not a bad thing just the way we are made. Some may be fully mature at 18 and others 25 and that is okay.
Just off the top of my head quickly, not as many people back in the olden days did not live as long as many people of today; many were dead by the time they were in their 40′s. So, I think life back then was “compressed,” if you will. Also, like another commenter noted, life was harder for people back then, and that tends to make one grow up a lot quicker.
Interesting discussion.
Is there a difference between knowledge and wisdom? For instance, a teen could know how to cook and clean, and still eat poptarts and live like a pig. Right? Is it not in knowing what to do with our knowledge that we find maturity? Most of us have fair knowledge of how to smoke, for instance, and know what to do with that knowledge, which is: don’t.
I would like to insert a couple of interesting statistics. In the Bible, the age of maturity for a man was 30. At that time, if the man showed himself trustworthy, his dad adopted him, giving him access to the family “checkbook”, and not before.
Women, however, in a way, were given longer to grow up. They went from being wards of their dads, to wards of their husbands. They were not expected to have worldly responsibilities until age 65. Their home responsibibilities, however, were enormous, covering even buying and selling land &, providing for charity, in addition to all the homemade clothing, food, etc., we all pick up for cheap at a store, these days.
I believe if we stopped telling our daughters they need to go to college to learn to be someone, they would begin to revalue being the other someone only they can be–the mature keeper of the homestead and assuager of the one who goes out. If we traded in all our degrees, along with the degredation of what we really ARE, we would find new wisdom and would pick up the knowledge to go with it in a jiffy.
Don’t get me wrong. I believe when we educate our sons, we provide for our sons and when we educate our daughters, we provide for our grandsons. I believe that, indeed. But how can the education of our daughters pass on to our grandchildren if our daughters disdain the very acts of nurturing our grandchildren? The world is upside-down.
Give me wisdom over knowledge or even “maturity” any day!
Great comments here, and I don’t disagree with any of them. My point, and I stand by it, is that in no way should 25 be considered childhood. I’m not saying one has to have a full understanding of life and have fully formed beliefs and maturity by age 18 or 21 or 25, just that they shouldn’t be considered children because of it.
Jamala makes an excellent point, and unles we are going to move the age of legal adulthood to 25, then we have to hold some level of accountability to those betwen the ages of 18 and 25. And yes, Katherine, wisdom is indeed the prinipal thing,
. And fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
As I noted in my post, I feel fairly certain that my girls (now 16, 15, 15) will require some guidance from their father and me past the age of 18 and I have no plans to withhold it simply because they are of legal age.
However, I do believe that we have lowered our bar of expectations a bit too much with each passing generation. It is true that previous generations were marked by better family cohesiveness and proximity, as Taunya noted, and young adults had the benfit of their elders’ wisdom and support as they navigated through this transitory period of life. Today’s young people don’t have this and it should be taken into consideration.
Lastly, I am not implying that knowledge of carrying out practical skills automatically makes one mature. But would anyone here disagree that a child being raised in a home where there is no expectation of contributing to the famiy in practical ways is somewhat at a disadvantage? Our kids learn and do these things not simply for the sake of doing them. They know that their chores are expected of them because they don’t live on an island. We are a family, and we all have a role to play to keep things running smoothly. They learn work ethic when they are expected to execute their duties consistently and correctly. I could go on, but I simply want to point out that these practical skills benefit young people in intangible as well as tangible ways.
Oh, and Nurse Bee hit on something releveant to my own personal experience. When I found that I was pregnant with our first child, it was almost as if a switch clicked on. Things that I thought were important suddnely ceased to be. The way I spent my time changed, the way I did a lot of things changed. Almost over night. The enormity of the responsibility facing me hit like a ton of brick. So for some peope (though not necessarily all) life’s experiences can mark a turning point in the level of maturity.
Thanks for your thoughts, ladies (and gentlemen if appropriate). Keep ‘em coming!
Terry I think a big distinction needs to be made between “childhood” and adolescence. In the first paragraph of your most recent comment you said you don’t think those 18-25 should be considered children. I agree wholeheartedly with that statement. You see adolescence and childhood are two different things as far as I am concerned. Saying that adolescence continues to 25 is not the same as saying childhood does. I tell my 15 year old daughter that she has left childhood, but she is still in adolescence. Parenting the two is completely different. Different levels and types of guidance are needed. I in no way think that the authors of this article were making a case for childhood extending to 25. Am I making any sense here?
Yes, Taunya, you’re making sense. That’s just me splitting hairs when it comes to words and word usage again, lol.
No they aren’t but they aren’t worth as much when they are being done “because they should” rather than from a proper well-developed understanding of why we have systems of life guidance in place. That simple idea could easily sum up my very long winded (heh) point.
To put it in a more grounded and understood way:
Consider for a moment the young man who enlists in the Army at eighteen. In his family military service is a tradition and he enlists because “it’s the right thing to do”. He performs his duty as commanded and even goes above and beyond because he “should” do so. While such reasons for enlistment and superior performance can be argued as noble they are still juvenile and fail to address the magnitude of the commitment this young man has made, the important history, institution, and values he is now a representative of, and the ideals he has sworn to defend. He is serving honorably but if asked for thoughts about his service and why he signed up the answers would not be profound or necessarily understood.
Contrast that with speaking to the same young man years later in his mid to late twenties. He’s now been exposed to combat, held the responsibility of being an NCO with lives in his care, and become comfortable with who he is and his career choice when much contention surrounds him/it. He’s likely felt compelled to examine the politics behind the war, come to appreciate in full the Army values, UMCJ, rules of engagement and why they must exist and be followed, and grappled with a spiritual or emotional crisis due largely to his service in some capacity. He knows war is cruel, that people die, that violence exists, that the world can be a dark dreary place and he knows all of this in a way few do. He may have taken solace in the ample military treatises–some very ancient–that discuss the art of war and the meaning of life for a warrior. Now he serves not because of family tradition but for love of service, the drive to uphold liberties and values , and love for his brother-in-arms. He doesn’t serve because it’s the “right thing to do” but because he has something to stand for and it’s something worth willing to die or bleed for. The boy that signed that initial enlistment contract is now a man.
A similar example could be written for women as well. Something brings them from girl-woman to grown up woman just as much as the boy-man in this story blossomed into an adult man. In the link I shared the example of stealing is given. The young child doesn’t steal because it’s against the rules. The young adult doesn’t steal because it’s against the law. The adult doesn’t steal because of a definitive understanding, appreciation, and respect of property rights and the essential role they place in society and government.
This is the difference between the mind of a young adult and fully formed adult. These are two very different things. Children, teenagers, and twentysomethings can be equipped with many skills but this final journey to adulthood–an initiation I suppose it could be called– happens only when enough life experience has occurred for full maturity to be reached. Merely following the rules does not make an adult; an understanding of the world and the way things work and why they work does.
I meant to quote this part of your comment before my response:
Honesty, work ethic, assertiveness, etc. are character traits that are not traits that any religion has cornered the market on.
I am against this extended adolescence. I am not against being young &stupid and making mistakes. In adolescence children make mistakes & grow on your dime w/ you controlling ” safe” failures. Adulthood is making mistakes &learning on your own dime and building off of the resulting consequences. Extended adolescents stunts the growth of wisdom and the confidence that comes from being able to take care of yourself & weather storms.
Daisy,
The story you’ve shared is a good one and I agree with your premise (as I’ve said before). The problem from where I sit is that we are largely raising a generation of young people who lack the experiences necessary to grow in the ways you describe. Giving credence to the notion of an extended adolescence could (in some cases) serve to extend this transitory period into the thirties.
I’m not arguing against what you’re saying. I’m simply implying thatwe not raise our kids from a mindset of, “Well, we really shouldn’t expect anything of any substance out of them before they’r 25. And I fear that I’m witnessing this very thing happen as parents give 22 year young adults a pass on things and in areas that everyone should agree are things they can handle.
Does that make sense?
Terry, you reminded me, I ran across this quote awhile back…
“We have to end adolescence as a social experiment. We tried it. It failed. It’s time to move on…
Children rapidly assuming the roles and responsibilities of adults would yield enormous benefits to society.”
Newt Gingrich in Business Week
I don’t suppose he means to deprive children of childhood, but to combat the growing class of “adultescents” that plagues our society.
Interestingly, there were no teenagers before WWII – there were “youths”. I know, I know… “huh?” But it’s more than semantics, it’s a different mentality. When our parents were growing up – even when I was growing up – kids had role models that were… ADULTS. They (we) wanted to grow up and become adults. Whether you consider them “fully baked” at 18, or 21, or later isn’t so much the point. (Although 25??? KIDS until 25? NUTS!) But the point is, they were referred to as “young man” and “young lady”, and that was a compliment – a promising reference to what they were becoming. Surrounded by the guidance of family, teachers, church, etc they were becoming adults.
Now they’re teenagers. A culture unto themselves. Largely cut off from adults. And their idols are likely to be vacuous celebrities, living the Peter Pan lifestyle you referred to. Avoiding responsibility for as long as they can. It’s pathetic.
Yes, I know that sounds cynical. Certainly they’re not all like that! But that IS what our culture celebrates.
And it’s time to grow up.
My two cents, Julie
You do make sense but I’m not necessary convinced this experience you describe is true across the board from the eyes of somebody from the cohort that’s being dismissed. We’re very different from our elders but it’s not all bad.
*We’re a civic minded bunch. We “rock the vote” in a way young people never have before. People who are in my age group have largely been the ones fighting the current wars, ones that began before most of us were old enough to vote. Enough Gen Yers have volunteered making conscription unnecessary.
*We posses self-control which can be well displayed in the decline in teen alcohol usage. Drug use has also decreased. Teen pregnancies have declined since the first of the Y generation entered high school.
*Gen Y is more conservative than Gen X and some have speculated we’ll wind up being more conservative and grounded than were our parents. We’re far less likely than our elders to support drug legalization and prefer harsh punishments for those caught drinking and driving among other offenses. Plenty of articles of compared this cohort to the Greatest Generation when it comes to morality.
*People my age have been forced to come of age at a time when the economy is very shaky and jobs are not plentiful. Many people have risen to the challenge to forge ahead and find innovative solutions to earn their bread. A fair portion of those who did return home to their parents house contribute/d in a meaningful way to a multi-generational household as opposed to a leech-like selfish situation.
These are plenty of other statistics and anecdotes that blow out of the water the idea that all, or even a goodly majority, of Generation Y are utterly and completely lost and less mature than those who came before them. None of this is the territory of the silly immature creature many try to paint about the young people of today but somebody much different.
And do let me say I’m sincerely not trying to be argumentative for argument’s sake. While there are indeed issues and troubles in the world your daughters will soon be entering it may not be quite as honorific and Neverland-ish as many are claiming. The reality must be sifted from the “kids today!” complaints. So many statistics do not support the claims of the Millenials being lost and wayward though they easily conclude that we’re different than our elders in many ways. We’re coming of age in a very different world than Gen X and the Baby Boomers did, a place much more difficult to get by in economically. As history can so eloquently prove morals and wise practices usually heighten during such a time. Not all is lost and in that we should take heart.
We’re coming of age in a very different world than Gen X and the Baby Boomers did, a place much more difficult to get by in economically. As history can so eloquently prove morals and wise practices usually heighten during such a time. Not all is lost and in that we should take heart.
You are correct Daisy that the changes in the world my kids are facing usually call for a generation to dig deep and grow up. And yes, the statistics paint the picture of a generation that is much more focused and sober (literally and figuratively) than the boomers and generations succeeding.
Keep in mind that I am in the thick of high school and additionally, that my “lament”, if you will, is not about the kids so much as it is about what I witness among well-meaning parents, many of whom consider me a harsh parent because I have standards for my children that go beyond school and soccer (or track, football, etc. take your pick). I sincerely believe that young people whose lives are comprised only of those things that interest them or that they find fun or being done a disservice. That was a primary motivation for the post. Thanks again Daisy, for your thoughts.
@Julie:
I remember reading once that the “teenage” years as a culture unto themselves is a new thing. I agree that role models should be parents and I think for many teens just an hour or so a day of concentrated time with their parents would do wonders.
Newt Gingrich, huh? Hmmm…LOL.
Just thought of something last night, but stormy weather wouldn’tlet me get through on the Internet. But today, is more clear. Yea. And following is my thought:
Imagine a movie rated PG-27! Ha.
Of course we cannot imagine that and here is the crux of it, I believe: today’s adolescent 25-year-old does not want to be treated like a child, but like a king or queen, spoiled and having zero responsibilites of adulthood, but all, all, all the privileges. They want to be age 13-27, and allowed to pick whichever age-appropriate behavior suits them. One day, too young to understand poitics or marry, the next day, plenty old enough carouse. Isn’t that it?
Of course, we cannot imagine that because, and here is the cr
Haven’t yet read and digested the newest offerings here, so I hope my initial thought isn’t just echoing someone else’s already succinctly made point.
It would be easy to just get disgusted (I have, at times) with the 20-somethings I see who are slacking their way into into a mediocre imitation of “adulthood”. However, when I step back and consider that there are numerous issues surrounding the lack of maturity in many of today’s young people, it makes the both the problem and the solution a little less cut and dried in my mind. The first question that comes to my mind is what is our standard of measure to determine what is “grown up”? Is it a specific age, a certain level of physical/mental accomplishment, a particular academic acheivement, society’s definition…they Bible? Is individuality and the fact that there is a difference between immaturaty and irresponsibility being taken into consideration? And who should be shouldering the majority of the blame when our children are unquestionably behaving in an irresponsible manner –the kids, their parents, or “the system”? Personal sin nature and selfishness most definitely plays a part–but are parents and our culture making things worse by throwing stumbling blocks into the path of the little ones?
Given the progress and advancements of the last century it would stand to reason that this generation of young people would be better equipped to handle life and the responsibility of adulthood, not less.
Terry, this statement actually speaks to me volumes concerning what is “wrong” with today’s youth. You are correct in pointing out that our grandparent’s generation often married, had families, kept homes, held down decent-paying jobs etc. at a very young age. Life was often physically more difficult, average life expectancy could have easily dictated that “midlife” was closer to 25 than 45. As in many third world cultures today, young American children often had to learn to function as adults in order to survive and families often did stay close and help each other out. These things have all been said, I know.
My thought here is that in the past 100 or so years, our culture has advanced tremendously in the technological arena. And, while we have gained many benefits, we have also experienced a multitude of (often hidden) impediments to developing into well-rounded, responsible adults. Many times, the very things that make our lives easier also encourage us to become lazier. And every one of us is exposed daily to an assault on the senses that our great-grandparents did not have to deal with. Two examples that come to mind are cars and mass-media. Automobiles have, in many ways, improved life for many Americans. But we don’t often consider how much information must be accurately taken in and processed while safely operating one. And, the massive amount of data available to the average child today is incredible. Setting aside academic pursuits, there are television, the internet and tons of available printed material demand to be attended. So many of our kids have been robbed of the simplicity of focusing on “growing up” and have been plunged into a swamp of sensory input they may not be able to adequately process. If parents are not actively supporting their child’s development and society continues to push for more, more more from children that have been simpy been left to our public educational system, it wouldn’t surprise me at all to discover that Peter Pan syndrome is at least sometimes related to the inability of a child to cope with it.
I think that in order for young people to be as mature as they were in the olden days, you’d have to duplicate the conditions of the olden days. The circumstances in those days (early death; hardship) compressed life and people grew up quicker. They had to. It came about naturally.