My friend Heather often posts in a format that speaks to me and I have decided to join her and balance conventional wisdom (those things we have often come to accept as true), against what the Bible has to say on the subject.Today’s topic is our addiction to stuff.
“He who dies with the most toys wins”~ Author unknown
“Don’t own so much clutter that you will be relieved to see your house catch fire.”~Wendell Berry
The second quote above actually speaks to the truth this post aims to articulate:
“But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; 21 for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” ~Matthew 6:20-21
” For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?”~Mark 8:36
I have often found myself increasingly frustrated in my attempts to purge my home of things that we have accumulated that have no lasting value or use. And someone almost always protests a thing that makes it on to my discard list. Of course, there are always things that I hold dear that never make the list.
We Americans and our stuff. It controls so much of our life and dominates so much of our time (cleaning, organizing, storing, arranging). We would do well to recall what Solomon said. He knew a bit about the ultimate value of stuff:
” Thus I hated all the fruit of my labor for which I had labored under the sun, for I must leave it to the man who will come after me. And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have control over all the fruit of my labor for which I have labored by acting wisely under the sun. This too is vanity.”~ King Solomon, Ecclesiastes 2: 18-19
A rather weighty topic, Terry.
Mark 8:36 has haunted me for some time, now.
I do believe you are right in pointing out how our culture often directs us to become slaves to stuff instead of to Christ. And I so relate to the (sometimes unbalanced) attempt to declutter.
Your quote from Ecclesiastes reminded me of Jesus’ parable about the rich fool who filled his barns yet wouldn’t be around to enjoy any of that which he had accumulated for himself.
This past summer I went freelance. When my work season ended at Thanksgiving, I took to re-arranging the house; starting with the kitchen and living room. Much of this was purge. I didn’t make a list, or consult anyone…I just tossed it based on my perception of whether they used it or not. Amazingly, it turns out we don’t have too little kitchen, or too much living room (as we had thought), but had just done a crap job organizing it. In between my “prepper/survivalist” vids, I trolled YouTube for tips. Good work, ladies! There are some very helpful videos out there.
No one has noticed anything missing, though the wife keeps trying to remember. They wouldn’t even know if I hadn’t told them.
Of course, I am the breadwinner, and any mistakes I might have made I would have to restore. But if my wife had done this…well, it’s her house, too, I s’pose.
I didn’t make a list, or consult anyone…I just tossed it based on my perception of whether they used it or not.
Sounds like my dad’s philosophy.
They wouldn’t even know if I hadn’t told them.
This is generally true for us, too. Although, as I’m the wife/mother, I feel “sneaky” when I don’t let my husband know what I’m doing. And I want our kids to learn to prioritize and develop a less materialistic worldview, if at all possible.
Me, too.
My big ones get this, but the little ones make me miserable as every toy is suddenly their prized possession. Sometimes I do an end run around them so I can just get it done, already, LOL.
There have been times I’ve cleaned out things and no one noticed a thing, LOL. I guess that gives you an idea how much junk we have.
Sounds like my dad’s philosophy.
He sounds clear-headed; wise, even.
Although, as I’m the wife/mother, I feel “sneaky” when I don’t let my husband know what I’m doing.
I’m not much of a control freak, and I personally don’t hoard much, so your circumstances may be different, but if my wife had made a real improvement we would have celebrated with dinner out. That’s right: Golden Corral for everyone!
Sometimes I do an end run around them so I can just get it done, already, LOL.
I hear you, lady.
Sometimes it’s best to save the character-building lessons for when your not knee deep in legos, dollies and distressed preschoolers
He sounds clear-headed; wise, even.
if my wife had made a real improvement we would have celebrated with dinner out. That’s right: Golden Corral for everyone!
YAY!!!
Actually, the problem in our home is me. Hubby’s pretty relaxed and trusts my judgment. Even encourages me to make many decisions on my own. But I can get get carried away with things and basically hang myself, so I like to either check with him first or have him monitor my progress from time to time.
In my house, it’s the opposite … I want to purge, purge, purge, but my husband gets very attached. There are stacks of magazines that he hasn’t looked at in 3 years, and I’d love to get rid of them, but every time I broach the subject, he says to just wait until he can go through them and scan the articles he wants to keep. Similar issues/excuses with clothes, shoes, and other miscellaneous things around the house. Any suggestions for how to deal with this issue? Just asking doesn’t work, nor does pointing out that our stuff is overflowing our storage space, nor does reminding him that in order to make room for his stuff, I keep getting rid of my stuff … and even he admits he has twice as much stuff as I do! I keep dropping it for fear of becoming a nag, but it’s festering.
That Wendell Berry quote is hilariously sobering. I like to watch Hoarding: Buried Alive sometimes as a motivator to clean more. I’m not even remotely a hoarder and neither is anyone else in my house, but seeing these people so attached to CRAP or too lazy to clean their own houses really makes me motivated to not be that person. On the other hand, I don’t want to be to militaristic about cleaning and purging so as to make my kids into hoarders. I can just see it right now, “Well, when I was a kid my mom would go around throwing everything away and now I’m afraid to get rid of anything.” Nice.
I purge on a regular basis. Like daily. My kids like to keep things that they draw, scraps of paper that have notes on them, bottle caps that they’ve turned into something. I got through the house with a trash bag and pick up everything that I see a useless or having no value and toss it. I’ve already warned the kids that it if sits on the floor or counter for a day, I’m going to assume they don’t want it and throw it out. If it’s a particularly good piece of art, I’ll keep it or scan into the computer. I purge clothes regularly for stained or holey items; I go through the kitchen cabinets and toss out stuff that I haven’t used or I got incredibly annoyed with the last time I used it and the toys have been reduced to a few things and a bazillion Legos. And yes, I’ve tossed the toys in front of the kids and made them go through the toys with me to decide which to keep and which to purge. It is an important lesson for them.
I pretty much leave my husband’s stuff alone because he’s an adult and he’s supposed to be making these decisions himself. If he’s been too busy or there’s a big pile I think he needs to go through, I’ll put it all in a box and ask him to go through it or if I may go through it. That’s a threat he usually doesn’t like because I can be really indiscriminate when it comes to clutter. If there’s too much of it, I just want clean and order RIGHT NOW and everything that looks even semi-useless goes. But, you’ve seen my house. I’m not OCD, I just get tired of the clutter and it accumulates rather quickly with six kids.
We’ve been watching Love Comes Softly a lot lately, and the thing that really stands out to me is the Christmas story. Having just celebrated Christmas with an incredible load of gifts, the simplicity of that Christmas is very appealing to me. A handmade doll’s house and a cradle for a baby. Not even wrapped. The things in their house were all things they needed. I can look around right now and see plenty of things I don’t need but I hold on to because I want them. It’s a challenge for me to even consider giving them away. However if they burned up in a fire, but all my kids got out safely, I’d be the happiest woman on Earth, so there’s that.
So, now that you heard my sermon, I think I’ll leave off. I hope I spelled everything correctly and my grammar was accurate.
Yes Jo, I have seen your house and you are certainly in no danger of being labeled a hoarder, LOL.
I try to purge regularly also. Sometimes I let the little ones in on it and sometimes I don’t. Depends on the day. Like you, I leave SAM’s stuff for him to sort out. I learned early on that discarding a shirt he hadn’t worn in over a year wasn’t my call to make, LOL.
I have watched Hoarding before although it’s been a while. It is actually quite sad, isn’t it? Unbelievable, in fact.
Deborah, put the piles in a place that are very inconveinent. I mean this only if your Husband has not told you that he will not get rid of it.
My Husband tends to get attached to things as well. I don’t get rid of things without him. But if they are bothering me I put them somewhere they will bother him but not me. Like in his workshop LOL.
Then he either has to deal with it or get rid of it. It may take a year, but he will eventually get annoyed. And at least I stop tripping on it.
Ace
Hi Terry,
Hope you and yours are all doing well. I have trouble with this issue because at heart I am a purger, but with all the doom and gloom and “prepping” going on it is truly hard to have a balance. Are we susposed to be the prepared Proverbs 31 women or those that don’t worry about anything because God clothes the flowers and feeds the birds? I don’t know…..
Struggling here myself. Though I will say growing up poor I often was the very very grateful recipient of someone else’s purgings and I try to give as much as possible to those in need. That really helps make decisions easy for me.
Also, once I decorate a room, it is done. I find that this keeps The General from wanting to hold onto things because it will mess the room up LOL.
Ace
Ok, Terry, sorry. I didn’t realize you are Elspeth. Whoops. All this time I have been wondering why you were not commenting LOLOLOLOL.
Girl, I have got to get more sleep!
Ace
but with all the doom and gloom and “prepping” going on it is truly hard to have a balance.
“Prepping” = Good. Doom and gloom = Bad. We’re in this mess because we haven’t prepped. The good news, though (and there is good news), is that the symptoms of the mess are causing resurgence of preparedness. It’s almost as if God had a plan for perfect plan of discipline, or something.
It’s so hard to replicate that with my own parenting.
Apropos perhaps, a local storage facility went up in flames recently, caused by a single candle. Quite literally and thankfully only possessions were lost, nothing more.
I love to purge, too. The Scandinavian in me likes clean, uncluttered rooms and surface. I can’t relax if there’s too much stuff. And like some of your other commenters, my husband is the pack-rat!
I don’t want to be dishonest, but sometimes I do get rid of things without telling him. Magazines. Oh the magazines. Several years’ worth of trade magazines, for instance. I tell myself I’m relieving him of the burden of feeling like he has to master everything in them (now outdated anyway).
And here’s a tip… take pictures of things. He saved all kinds of things. Old artwork, T-shirts (two sizes too small), hand-made gifts… take a digital picture to remember it by, and then sometimes it’s easier to let go.
It’s just stuff. It can’t love you back.
Julie