in other's words

All posts in the in other's words category

Linkage

Published October 11, 2012 by Elspeth

A few interesting links I ran across this week.

Traditional Christianity: So You’ve Committed to Submission

Heather: Parallel Passages: Bread and Wine

Peaceful wife Blog: Avoiding Pride and Self Righteousness as a Wife

Patriactionary: Is the Notion of the ‘Age of Accountability’ Biblical?

Free Northerner: Demanding More, Biblical Alpha: Boaz

Morgan the Writer: Is Chivalry Dead?

NYT: Number of Protestants in Steep Decline, Study Finds

Yahoo“Body Shaming”: Plus-sized models speak out  *Link includes semi-nudity.  This one bugged me because it ignores health concerns, but I still found it interesting.

Edited to add, from MSN: Roseanne Barr among presidential candidates on FL ballot.     I figured my fellow Floridians might get a kick out of this one.

Enjoy your weekend, folks!

Linkage

Published October 4, 2012 by Elspeth

Heather~~ Sarah’s Daughters: No Fear

Big Chief Tablet~~ The Inscrutable Calvinist. If you need a good laugh, don’t skip this one. (h/t: Joanna)

Cane~~A Perspective of Wood and Work, A Series of Negatives on Inherent Unfairness, Part VI

The Peaceful Wife~~ Do Women Sin Less Than Men? , Sometimes Dying to Self is Harder than Other Times!

Morgan the Writer~~Feminism and White Women

Mark Steyn~~Obama a Better President of the Future

Ulysses~~The Sharp Contrast Between Bad and Worse

Edited to add:

The iHomeschool Network~~Print-a-Palooza: A Free Printable Link-Up (also courtesy of Joanna)

We will return to our discussion on dealing with daughters next week. Have a lovely weekend.

Something In The Water?

Published October 2, 2012 by Elspeth

It seems I’m not the only one contemplating the challenge of raising daughters. I ran across a couple of other posts by men from the manosphere that made me think.

Raising Daughters

Daughters (h/t for the first link to Ulysses)

Neither post is written from a Christian perspective and one of the fathers is divorced. However, I couldn’t help but be struck by the largeness of the task of raising girls in this culture. Not that I think boys are any less of a challenge, but I have no knowledge or experience with raising boys. When I consider issues of training for marriage, submission, and motherhood in a world where God’s design in under attack even from those who claim to serve Him, I can feel overwhelmed.

Your responses and comments to the first post have helped me to frame the direction I’ll be heading as I write a few more posts on the subject of raising daughters.  For the sake of time and conciseness there are really only three subjects I feel are worth tackling:

1. How far and long does parental authority extend?

2. How to handle dating/courtship

3. Education and career guidance

Since I’ve already written the next post in the series and I don’t feel like editing, I guess we’ll have a total of 5 not counting this one.

The Trouble With the Women’s Vote

Published September 12, 2012 by Elspeth

I live in a battle ground state where the middle class woman’s vote is being heavily courted. Ads denouncing Romney on the issue of reproductive choice are constant. Let’s leave aside the farcical nature of that strategy for now. Ann Romney herself, in her speech at the GOP convention, offered her own nod to girl power:

Sometimes I think that late at night, if we were all silent for just a few moments and listened carefully, we could hear a great collective sigh from the moms and dads across America who made it through another day, and know that they’ll make it through another one tomorrow. But in that end of the day moment, they just aren’t sure how.

And if you listen carefully, you’ll hear the women sighing a little bit more than the men. It’s how it is, isn’t it?

It’s the moms who always have to work a little harder, to make everything right.

It’s the moms of this nation—single, married, widowed—who really hold this country together. We’re the mothers, we’re the wives, we’re the grandmothers, we’re the big sisters, we’re the little sisters, we’re the daughters.

You know it’s true, don’t you? You’re the ones who always have to do a little more.

You know what it’s like to work a little harder during the day to earn the respect you deserve at work and then come home to help with that book report which just has to be done. You know what those late night phone calls with an elderly parent are like and the long weekend drives just to see how they’re doing. You know the fastest route to the local emergency room and which doctors actually answer the phone when you call at night.

You know what it’s like to sit in that graduation ceremony and wonder how it was that so many long days turned into years that went by so quickly.

You are the best of America. You are the hope of America. There would not be an America without you.

Tonight, we salute you and sing your praises.

I’m not sure if men really understand this, but I don’t think there’s a woman in America who really expects her life to be easy. In our own ways, we all know better!

 

Despite all the evidence to the contrary, we have to perpetuate the idea that women work harder than men, have it rougher than men, and carry the burdens of this nation on our weary shoulders. Never mind if it’s true or not, we’ve got to get that highly coveted female vote!

I have been considering for several years now the reality that the 19th amendment has done more harm than good. The system whereby a man’s vote was representative of his entire family is preferable to me. I feel so strongly about it that I vote in line with my husband even when I’d rather write in the most radical libertarian candidate I can think of.

This year the two candidates are so indistinguishable on the issues that matter most to us that this may be the first year in many that we lodge a ideologically pure protest vote. But I digress…

I strongly disagree with the notion that every person over the age of 18 should be guaranteed the right to vote. Voting is a privilege, not a right, and a minimum ability to demonstrate an understanding of how government works and the impact of one’s vote should be required before a ballot is handed to any of us.

I’ve never articulated before why I believe the 19th amendment served to hasten what was probably the inevitable demise of a once great republic, and I only do so today because Ann Barnhardt has done a better job than I ever could in her post from September 1st. You’ll have to go there and find the entire reading, but I offer an excerpt which aligns pretty closely with what I think is the problem with universal suffrage for women:

Women are made with a healthy, innate desire to be provided for and protected. I know this because I am a woman, despite the pair of enormous brass balls I have to carry around. Those are merely an anomaly. Please ignore them, and no, you may not touch them. I just polished them last night. Back to the point, women want someone or someTHING to take care of them. For this reason, women tend to lean socialist, and are generally in favor of the expansion of government when the government promises to “provide” for them.

If you have read me for any length of time you could probably write this next paragraph yourself. Satan has used this healthy feminine dynamic, perverted by suffrage, to systematically replace men with the government as the providers in society. A woman no longer has any need of a man. Marriage no longer serves any practical purpose. A woman can whore around and have as many fatherless children as she pleases, and Pimp Daddy Government will always be there to provide. Men have learned well from this, too. Men can also slut it up to their heart’s content knowing that the government will take care of their “women” and raise their children for them. Fathering children no longer binds a man to a woman in any way. Men didn’t vote to societally castrate themselves, and never would have. No – in order for this system to have come about, women’s suffrage was an absolute necessity. Women themselves voted the system into place which objectifies and devalues both them AND their children.

Next, the issue of disenfranchisement. I believe that the 19th amendment actually DISenfranchised more people than it enfranchised. Many, many married couples quickly found themselves voting against one another. The man would tend to vote for the more conservative platform, and the woman would vote for the more socialist platform. When this happened, the effective result was the nullification of BOTH individuals’ votes. What this did was massively reduce the voting influence of the married household, and magnify the voting influence of the unmarried – and the unmarried tend to be younger, and thus more stupid, and thus vote for big government. It was all part of the plan, kids. All part of the plan.

I’ve probably ticked even one or two of you conservatives off with this post. Here is the question I would ask you: Why? Why are you ticked off? If you’re a woman, the reason you are ticked off is because you put yourself and your desire to assert your will above the well-being of society in general. I don’t feel that way. I would give up my vote in a HEARTBEAT if it meant that right-ordered marriage, family and sexuality was restored to our culture. I would rather that my little female namesakes grow up in a world where they did not have the right to vote, but were treated with dignity and respect, were addressed as “ma’am”, had doors held for them, and wherein men stood up when they entered the room. I would rather they be courted properly and then marry men who would never, ever leave them, and would consider it their sacred duty and honor to protect and provide for their wives and their children because he LOVED them. Oh, HELL yes. I’ll give up my vote in exchange for that any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Why wouldn’t you?

Linkage

Published September 6, 2012 by Elspeth

Heather: Finding Femininity 13; Finding Femininity 14: Dethroning the Shrewish Princess.

Society of Phineas: If We Are the Body

Cane Caldo: On Axe Biting; Half-Life

The Elusive Wapiti: Savage Chic

Sunshine Mary: Discrimination or a Lucky Break?

Ulysses: Men Who Become Presidents

Haley’s Halo: Theory on the men bad, women good attitude in churches.

Alte: The Importance of Being Uncertain

Being Right, or Being Nice?

Published August 23, 2012 by Elspeth

I recently made the mistake of speaking before hearing the whole matter and said something to my 18-year-old daughter that was rash and inaccurate. Later, she came to me to clear the air and set the record straight, and I apologized. I felt quite foolish after my blunder because it was an unnecessary conflict that I created by not waiting patiently before I spoke. I was immediately reminded of this verse from Proverbs:

He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him. Proverbs 18:13.

Having sensed my conviction, my daughter, despite having spoken to me with great care and respect, decided to qualify her words with an unwarranted apology: “I’m sorry Mom, if I made you feel bad.” That bothered me worse than the first thing because I never want my children to be afraid to speak the truth out of fear of not being nice.

I immediately reassured her that she had done nothing wrong. That yes, I felt bad, but I needed to feel bad because what I had said was wrong. I then made it clear to her that she should never apologize for saying the right thing in a godly and respectful way out of fear of making someone feel bad. We need to feel bad about our sin and foolishness. I’m not advocating condemnation mind you, but godly sorrow is a good thing and we err when we inadvertently discourage it by misusing Scripture.

I’ve thought about this quite a lot over the last several days and it occurred to me that one of the reasons our sense of Christian community and accountability has eroded is because people have come to equate Christian love with being nice. I’m sure many of you have already seen the Ann Barnhardt video dissecting the roots and evolution of the word nice, but I’ll share it here for those who haven’t seen it. It’s well worth the 4 minutes. The video is 11 minutes, but the relevant portion for our purposes here can be found from the 3:15 mark and concludes around the 7:30 mark.

Kind of makes you reconsider the idea of “nice” as a cardinal virtue, doesn’t it? Since it has been firmly embedded in women almost from birth to “be nice”, it takes a bit of work to overcome the tendency to want to be nice so that we can be liked by as many people as possible.

Am I saying we should be ball busting, inconsiderate shrews? Of course not. However when I saw my daughter, who had done everything right in the incident I referenced above, afraid that she had done something wrong because it didn’t feel nice, I was concerned. We can not be effective believers if we make the mistake of equating kindness with niceness, and that is in large part exactly what we have done.

Linkage

Published August 21, 2012 by Elspeth

I have a list of good links to share today:

Heather:  Someone Said…(If Mama ain’t Happy, She Just Might Need an Attitude Adjustment), Someone Said…(What You See is What You Get?)

Cane Caldo: Should Marriage Be Easy?

Brenda: Our School Space 2012-2013, The Day of Not

Empathologicalism: Repetition posing as wisdom

Society of Phineas: Your Legacy

Sunshine Mary: The Cooking-Impaired Housewife

Hawaiian Libertarian: Virtual Disconnection, Free Sh*t (language warning, but this political post is so good I got over it)

Business Insider: Sweden Will Have to Become a Lot Less Blonde (another demographic emergency article)

Elusive Wapiti: Germany Debates Paying SAHM’s

If you feel like doing some heavy thinking today…

Published July 7, 2012 by Elspeth

I offer this post from empathologicalism. He writes from the perspective of a Christian man fairly fed up with the way feminism has infiltrated the church, but this post touches on something more than that when you get beneath the surface. It’s something I’ve given a lot of thought to in recent years; this notion that Christianity is more relationship than religion. Here’s a bit of what he has to say on the issue:

So, we have a faith, Christianity. Said faith has a clearly delineated history, a descriptive narrative full of compelling stories and claims of promise of eternal life, claims of, objectively, God, and his nature, and how we as His followers are to comport in our best effort to edify Him while our earthly life persists. Our faith, in practice, does require things from us, and in the past we grounded certain things, anchored them if you will, in ritual. We can all disagree on what degree of ritual is appropriate and what degree is idolatry and a host of other functional details, but we have truly thrown out the baby Jesus in the bathwater of ritual and requirements on us for which we will be accountable. After all, being held accountable is off putting.

Let me introduce you to the Personal Jesus (TM). He IS that into YOU. Those depths of you, he has plumed them, hence he knows you and most importantly…..he understands. he understands why you FEEL as you do, and why you do the things you do, he knows your heart in other words, and the heart IS you and he is IN you, in your heart and that’s the new alpha and omega of you.

Its not religion (rules, accountability, ritual, creed, dogma)….its relationship…between you, and well, YOU. That’s right, the Personal Jesus is YOU.

You can read the rest of his post here. I actually have some thoughts of my own on the topic and I’m sure we’ll discuss them all before this blog is done. But for now, I just want to offer this tidbit for contemplation.

My Growing Problem With Conservatism…

Published June 27, 2012 by Elspeth

Is that all too often, the principles get lost because at the core, the belief systems are the same as liberalism. It’s liberalism lite. The only difference is the wrapping. The contents are the same once you peel back the layers: materialism, feminism, secularism.

I was reminded of this as I read the coverage of this story at the conservative opinion blog, Hot Air:

My gut reaction: Of course stay-at-home moms are stressed, they live in poorer households than women who work do. This result is simply an artifact of worrying about money, not having to take care of kids. Right? Actually … no.

The first thing that struck me was the bloggers substituting a diagnosis of stress where the Gallup poll noted depression. Our family is currently living through a season of stress, but I am not depressed. Living in a situation where finances are tight can be stressful, but need not lead to depression unless one has an exaggerated or unrealistic expectations of what is an acceptable standard of living.

Rather than look beneath the surface, Hot Air immediately pounced on the feminist meme of women needing the independence and financial security only found at work:

When you’re this close to dire poverty and homelessness, knowing that you have it in your power to put food on the table for your kids may be something of a psychological relief; if you show up every day and do your job well, you stand a fair chance of holding down a steady paycheck. If, on the other hand, you’re a SAHM married to a man who’s earning less than $36,000 a year, the only thing standing between you and dire poverty or homelessness is his ability to show up every day and do his job well. And the painful truth is that not every husband is going to do that. Simply put, financial independence may mean less worry in the aggregate even if it means more responsibilities.

Of course Gallup found that the levels of depression were not isolated among lower income SAHM’s only, but extended all the way up the income ladder, which left the Hot Air pundit stumped:

That explains the problem for lower-income SAHMs but, as noted up top, it doesn’t explain why anger, sadness, and depression are higher for stay-at-home moms than for working moms across all income levels. Here’s where you come in, HA commenters: Why is that? Any theories?  Could be that modern expectations that an educated woman should have both a career and a family are weighing on even rich SAHMs and making them question their choices, but beyond that I’ve got nothing. How about it, ladies?

I do in fact have a theory or two, but I’ll wait to hear what my fellow traditionalists have to say on the matter.  For now, I can’t help but notice the similarity of thought between liberalism and modern conservatism. As Chris well noted, this can’t be helped when we try to champion traditional values apart from higher principles, specifically the gospel:

Because we do not preach the gospel but a pale version of morality, denying the power within the gospel. We think we deserve all spiritual blessings and happiness. Women who think this will never, ever be satisfied by any man.

Or any amount of money, or any level of education, or children, or beauty, nothing. We will continue to be perpetually dissatisfied. Yeah, we’ve come a long way.

(h/t: Sheila)

A Worthy Read

Published June 14, 2012 by Elspeth

Haley hits the nail on the head with this one, and I thought it was worth sharing. For those of us with young adult children who are or will soon be entering the age of marriageability, a reality check is order, and sadly it is increasingly missing in American churches.

Haley, in a nutshell, conveys why I would never encourage my young adult daughters to read Boundless. A teaser:

Any effective campaign to reduce divorce needs to address BOTH women and men.  You can’t just tell the men to lead and expect the women to follow when there is no concurrent expectation for women to change their behavior and mindsets.  Every time you tell men to man up and lead, you have to tell women to simmer down and submit.  Otherwise, the implicit message is just “you only need to submit if he’s doing an adequate job of leading.”  Which is precisely the attitude that landed us in this too-much-divorce culture in the first place!

I mean, you just can’t have a church culture where the men are constantly called on to be more humble, more sacrificial, more manly, yet the women’s heads are filled with messages that they are Daughters of the King! and special and anointed and powerful and beautiful and shouldn’t settle for less than God’s best.  Can anyone honestly say that this is a recipe for reducing divorces?

Go read the whole thing. Seriously.

And yeah, I’m still on that “We Christian women need to get it together” soapbox. I haven’t mellowed out on that score one bit. I don’t know that I ever will.

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