Juggling Act

Conventional wisdom, whatever that is, says that women are better at multi-tasking and doing several things at once without missing a beat. Well my brain didn’t get that memo. The more I try to juggle, the less productive I am. I have come to the conclusion that I am not a multi-tasker. I can force myself to walk and chew gum at the same time in a pinch, but as a rule, I need to be focused in one direction or something will suffer.

This is an important issue for me as summer winds down and we settle into our “official” homeschool routine.  I read homeschool blogs and wonder if my need for regimen is going to ruin our homeschool experience. I hope not, because I need structure. I need a plan. Whoever coined the phrase about planning to fail by failing to plan described me perfectly.

I have to get up, grab my list, and get doing accordingly. I always try to make my schedule loose enough that the kids are not stifled by it. I schedule in plenty of time for playing and I try not to be so rigid that a fun and spontaneous change of direction is ignored because I’m a slave to my schedule. In other words, I try to maintain a sense of balance.

The fact of the matter is that without my plan, very little of consequence gets done. We’ll always have our read-aloud time, and the dishes will get washed. The kids will have some outdoor time, and dinner will be cooked. Beyond that, however, I can offer no guarantees.That’s not good enough for me. So I schedule. The first weeks of school are particularly crucial after our highly unstructured summer.

I admit I’m a bit jealous of you ladies who manage to get all done on the force of your will, work ethic, and superior organizational skills. And do it without wanting to pull all your hair out. I salute you.

I wish I could be you, but alas I am me. So at the risk of destroying my children’s chances for a sane and happy life, I am making my schedule and plans for the first quarter of the school year. Because the only way they have a prayer of learning anything is if I have a plan to teach them.

Seasons Change

Our Sweetie Pie turned three recently, and even after 16 years of motherhood I still look at my kids and wonder at how we manage to have something of an oasis in a home that often resembles managed chaos. She’s potty-trained now, verbally expressive and has been crowned “Queen of the Facial Expression” by unanimous vote.

When you’re in the thick of chasing multiple little ones, the task feels overwhelming. You look forward to the day when they can walk, when they can feed themselves, when they’re potty trained. If I could take back every one of those thoughts now, I would. I can’t of course, and exasperation is a realistic emotion when you’re trying to juggle it all, especially the way most of us do it today- alone, or at least without a support network of older mothers, or even our own mothers, while our husbands are out working hard to support us.

As I thought about this I was reminded of an older post I wrote when Sweetie Pie was just a few months old. I’m re-posting it here to encourage the mothers of little ones. Have a blessed weekend!

Why Perspective Really IS Everything

What a difference a decade makes. Yesterday, after my husband left for work and I got the big girls off to school, I looked around my house in dismay. It was a disaster, I hadn’t had time to take a shower, little Princess was pulling at the leg of my sweats (yes, I was wearing sweats- thoroughly unfeminine), and Miss Maya was ready to be fed. For a brief moment, I was tempted to feel sorry for myself because the one thing I wanted most (a shower) would have to wait until I put the Princess down for her nap which wouldn’t be for another four hours. Instead, I decided to thank God for the opportunity to be available to see my children off to school, for the fact that the Princess was at home pulling on my pants rather than at a daycare center, and for the great blessing of giving us the new and precious gift of Miss Sweetie Pie.

And when I thought back to the last time I was at home with a newborn (well, two, because there were twins) and a toddler, I had to take a moment to praise God for the perspective and wisdom He has given as I tackle the challenges of managing my home with very little ones underfoot.

When our twins were born almost 13 years ago, my first born was 5 days shy of her first birthday. Yes, that’s right: we had 3 babies born in the space of one year! After about 3 weeks at home with my three precious little girls, I was an emotional, depressed, out of control basket case. My poor husband had to deal with my incessant whining and spontaneous bouts of crying because I was “stuck” all day at home with these babies, overwhelmed with trying to be a decent mother. Truthfully, I was unconcerned at that point about being even a marginal wife. It took all of my mental and physical energy to care for the girls. That time in my life is the main reason why it took almost 12 years for me to even consider having any more children.

But our God is faithful. He truly is working in us according to His will. Back then I never could have imagined that I would once again welcome the blessing of more children into our family. I now view each challenge as an opportunity to lean on God and to show His love to my children. Sadly, many friends and family members also bristled at the fact that we have flung open the doors of our hearts to welcome more of God’s great and precious gifts into our life. Has our growth occurred in a vacuum? Sometimes it is hard to feel so misunderstood. Why is it that when I saw parenting my children as an 18 year detour on my road to freedom, I could find so many who related to and agreed with my perspective?

The fact that I am preparing to home school is another miraculous change of heart. When my older kids started school, I enjoyed the freedom that was afforded me to fulfill my duties without the distraction of little ones running about. Now I look forward to consistent morning devotions, trips to the library, home school groups, and taking vacations on our schedule rather than the school districts.

What a difference a decade makes, indeed. I was younger and more energetic back then, but I lacked the perspective needed to appreciate the blessing and honor that it is to be a wife and mother. I am so grateful to God for shaking me and allowing me to get a grip while my big girls were still young enough for us to impart life into them and love them the way they needed to be. Of course, when I think about the time I wasted feeling sorry for myself and viewing the roles of wife and mother from the world’s perspective, I can only praise God more for His word.

He has indeed restored the years that were eaten by the locusts of self-pity, selfishness, and lack of perspective.

This Was Funny, Until I Thought About It

My daughter heard this song in her friend’s car as they were riding home from an after school event and told me about it. It’s meant to be funny, and I admit I chuckled at first. Then I thought about it, and realized that I’ve encountered Christians who genuinely feel this way toward people who’ve wronged them. I can even remember when my own mindset wasn’t much better. I was restrained enough not to say it out loud, unlike like this song writer. Still, God knows our hearts. Take a listen. The video actually displays the lyrics to the song.

Question: How good are we at (really) loving our enemies and praying for those who spitefully use us? When we do pray, how often do our hearts sound like the lyrics to this song? Do we bless those who curse us as the Scripture admonishes?

This Will Probably Be Irrelevant to Most Homeschoolers

Bright Eyes (16) recently recounted an interesting conversation she had with a friend. Her friend is a fellow high school junior and part-time college student taking a level 1 civics class this semester at the local community college.

She excitedly reported to my daughter everything she’s been learning about the legislative process, the Constitution, and other inner workings of government. While Bright Eyes was pleased that her friend was excited about what she was learning, she didn’t pretend that she was learning anything new.

Bright Eyes continually answered in the affirmative to her friend’s questions, “Did you know this?”  Her friend was surprised because as an honors student, she knew that the two of them had taken virtually identical classes throughout their school careers.  My daughter shared that most of what she knows about American government  she learned from her parents. Apparently, we are an anomaly.

Our kids understand how their government works, and how it was designed to work (two different things!).  Most of their knowledge was gained through general conversation rather any concerted effort on our part. They heard conversations between their Dad and I, asked questions, and learning took place. They occasionally share these insights with their friends. There are honors students in high school who don’t know that the government gets its revenue from tax dollars until my kids tell them. Seriously. That’s some scary stuff when you consider that today’s honor students are tomorrows leaders.

We have increasingly been sharing with our kids the importance of keeping their priorities in order. Reminding them that the lifestyle we live is not typical around the world, and that there are no guarantees that this will continue. There are never any guarantees, but given the current political and economic climate in this country, a large-scale shift may be imminent. We believe that in the case of our 15 and 16-year-olds, an increased awareness of the world around them both good and bad, is advantageous.  The typical carefree  teenage existence lacks the balance required to be thinking, productive citizens. We Americans are notoriously closed off from world events, and most of us will be caught unawares when the trouble reaches our front doors.

I’d like to think we haven’t spoiled our kids. In fact I know we haven’t when compared to most of their peers. Still, given the apparent economic situation we are facing in America, most of us would do well to let our young adult children in on the realties of life. Most of them have no idea how good they have it, even if they live in a fairly frugal household.

A good place to start, after a strong spiritual and Biblical foundation of course, would be a basic understanding of taxes and spending.

Monday’s Musings Are Back!

It’s summertime, and though the living is easy, it is also busier, with all the kids in the house full-time. I’ll be very fortunate to write one post of substance per week. So I figured this to be as good a time as any to bring back an oldie but goodie from days gone by- Monday’s Musings. Without further adieu:

• I have been brainstorming ideas for keeping the girls busy and productive over the next 10 weeks. I already shared our book club selection for the summer. I have also decided to have a “cooking school” for all the girls. My teenagers can cook a little bit, but they are still far behind where they would be if I had more time to work with them. High school is interesting in that it simultaneously manages to be very demanding while not at all challenging. So now that they are home for the summer, it is my intention that they become much more comfortable and accomplished in the kitchen than they have been to date. We also have a few other things planned as well.
• Speaking of cooking: The kids wanted peanut butter cookies recently but we were out of eggs. We’ve never made eggless cookies so I went online looking for a recipe, and found this one. It is quite good. Feeling as though I may be on to something, I decided to look for recipes for eggless oatmeal cookies and eggless chocolate chip cookies. Both of these looked very promising, though I haven’t tried them yet. What a great way for people with egg allergies to still enjoy home-baked cookies.
• Has anyone noticed how any and every business seems to offer a summer camp? Does it bother y’all as much as it bothers me, that people who don’t deal with children at all much during the school year suddenly advertise themselves as safe havens for parents to drop their little ones off for day care (all day!) during the summer? The demand is so great for childcare that just about anyone can make money providing it. I have thoughts about that, but I’ll keep them to myself right now since I’m not feeling particularly controversial.
• I have to admit, this story saddened me greatly. Regardless of how I feel about Al Gore and his politics, the demise of a 40-year marriage is jaw dropping. When I first heard the news, I thought it was a lie or tabloid rumor. There was no way that these people, after 40 years, could be throwing in the towel. But it appears that these things can happen to any marriage. Very, very sad news.
• Somehow, via a random click, I stumbled into what I guess I’ll call the Afrocentric blogosphere. It has been a fascinating foray. I have run across all kinds of posts written by all kinds of people, from a young black woman who has somehow bought  into the notion that blacks are genetically inferior to other races (she considers herself a rare exception), to religious blogs written from a black perspective, to a blog written by a very intelligent brother who sees feminism for what it is (which is good), while stopping short of believing in traditional family structure as a part of the cure (which is not so good). I’ll say here what I said there: I am much more comfortable in the realm of the Christian mommy blogs. However, it has been quite interesting!
• When I altered my blog name and template, I mentioned my new focus: learning. I have made it my goal to pay attention and learn the lessons every day. Lessons about God and His word, myself, marriage, motherhood, or even random bits of this and that. There is always things to learn and opportunities to grow for those of us willing to slow down and pay attention. So far, it’s been great. Challenging in ways that I hope to share and other ways I dare not, but challenging nonetheless.
• I am currently praying for a deeper understanding of the lessons I need to learn from this passage in 2 Peter:  But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge,  to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness,  to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.  For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins.
  Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble;  for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1: 5-11.

 I like this idea, of bringing back the Monday Musings posts. I hope you all agree!

Happy Monday all!

On the Education Front…

As I announced recently, we are all about learning the lessons at Breathing Grace. To that end, I thought I’d take a moment to offer an education update. There is a flurry of activity around here.

My older children, as many of you may remember, are enrolled in school. They are eagerly anticipating the start of summer. So am I, for that matter. The older they get, the more school work and activity seems to interfere with the affairs of family life. As high schoolers, they are usually inundated with so much homework, that I have decided against requiring anything of them that is academically demanding over the summer. They need a break.

However, we began a tradition a few years ago. We have a summer book club. We choose a book, buy several copies, and then read and discuss the book. Last year’s book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, was very well received by the girls and they have really taken the author’s message to heart. In fact, they have loaned several copies to various Christian school mates who have also taken the message to heart, thankful for an alternative to the high school dating scene.

This year’s book has been chosen. I made an executive decision and chose a book I thought would be good for them without their input. I’m sure they’ll enjoy it anyway. The book is called Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations, by Alex and Brett Harris. It comes highly recommended by a good friend and I am looking forward to it.

Also on the school front, one of my kids was miffed when her teacher made a derogatory comment about the Bible. Thankfully, she shared the class with another good Christian friend and had someone with which to share her righteous indignation. We talked about the teacher’s comments later and I gave her some food for thought should the subject arise again. I told her to ask her teacher this question:

Suppose all this God, Jesus, and Bible stuff turns out to have been  one big hoax. That I have spent my life believing a lie. Just suppose it for a minute. At the end of our  lives,  who will have the most opportunity to harbor regret? Me, having strived to love others more than myself, to live a pure life, an honest life, a life of giving and a life of honor, or the person who lived a life unto his or herself, never preferring others, running rough shod over anyone who gets in the way of what they want or thought they wanted at any given moment? Who will leave the greater legacy, the person who has attempted to walk the narrow path, or the one who went with the flow of the culture, burning bridges and leaving pain in his or her wake?  

I wonder what he’ll answer to that? I am thankful that this season is coming to a rapid end. Now, on to the homeschool front. Advice and opinions are very welcomed since as y’all know, I’m a homeschool novice.

My Lil’ Princess will be 4 this summer. I have gone back and forth over whether she will be too young to begin any kind of formal homeschooling. At the moment, both she and my 2-year-old are enjoying Before Five In A Row. You’d be surprised at the number of spinoffs they came up with after reading Blueberries For Sal this week! And the fact that we found little tin pails at Target for 0.25 made it all the more fun. They were very excited to have pails just like Sal’s!

We will definitely continue Before FIAR through the summer. My quandary concerns what to do as the fall begins since I know that now is the time to place orders in preparation for the fall. This is where you all come in. I will share with you what I am considering, and you will share with me your experiences with any of the materials I am considering.

After spending a fair amount of time reading The Well Trained Mind, I am contemplating ordering two items to introduce along with our current, lightweight, and very fun Before FIAR activities.

The first is The Ordinary Parent’s Guide to Teaching Reading. Since Lil’ Princess can identify all of her letters and their sounds, and is constantly asking me to read or help her read words any and every where she sees them, I am starting to think that maybe 4-years-old isn’t too young to begin teaching reading. After all, if it proves too much for her, I can always put it aside and revisit it later.

The second is the primer version of Math-U-See, with manipulatives, of course. Math is one of those topics I feel the need to jump in to early. I am one of those math phobic parents. I can do math, but it took me a bit of effort to become comfortable with it, so I want to do a good job of teaching it. For me, that means starting early.

For my personal learning and edification, I am having to break away from my theological research and spend some time meditating on 2 Peter, chapter 1. I ran into references to that passage at least three times in a two-day period last week and as I began to read it on my own, I felt a compelling need to prayerfully dig deeper and ask the Lord to help me see the areas I need to work on and the lessons I need to learn. Not to worry, though. I will get back to my Scriptural study on the basis of reformed theology.

Additionally, I hope to read C.S. Lewis’  The Great Divorce this summer. After reading Cindy’s two posts examining the ending of the show LOST (here and here), which I watched as well, recognizing several of the spiritual undertones and questions, it seems like a good book to read. Her tying of the show to the book  made it intriguing to me. Besides that, I like C.S. Lewis’ writings.

I’d love for you to share what you’re learning and teaching at your house!

Growing Up

I ran across some information a while ago that as a mom I found rather unsettling. If you’re familiar with the story of Peter Pan you know that he lived in Neverland, a magical place where childhood never ends. It seems that Neverland is no longer the stuff of fantasy. The medical and scientific community have concluded in recent years that adolescence-the final stage of childhood-ends at or around age 25. Yes, I said that 25 year olds are now considered adolescents. This is disturbing to me on a number of levels.

Given the progress and advancements of the last century it would stand to reason that this generation of young people would be better equipped to handle life and the responsibility of adulthood, not less. It’s obvious that somewhere along the way we took a wrong turn. The worst part is that rather than admit that our culture is failing to do an adequate job of raising our kids, we’ve deluded ourselves into believing that this current generation of adult kids remains so because of genetics.

60 years ago, when my grandmother-in-law married at the age of 17, she knew how to manage a household, handling far more than the average housewife of 2007. She had been taught by her mother how to cook, clean, sew, bake, garden and be an all around effective wife and mother. Her young husband had the knowledge and skill to build the home where they would raise their 10 children-with his own hands. I challenge you to find a twenty year old today who can balance a checkbook, let alone build a house and manage a household. There are exceptions I’m sure, but by and large we have a generation of young people who, like Peter Pan, simply refuse to grow up, and their parents are willing accomplices in this folly.

We have a populace that is more educated in terms of theory and technology, but without the practical skills required to manage the day to day affairs of life. We have a society of young people who go through life playing pretend versions of real life without actually living it.

With three children on the cusp of adulthood, this is an issue I’ve pondered quite a bit.

As a parent, I feel it is my duty to raise children who are able to accept responsibility, serve their fellow man, and view commitment as something to be embraced rather than feared and avoided. And while I am thankful for the progress and advancements of this generation, I think there is much we can learn from those who have gone before us. Let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater. After all, truth and values are timeless.

Household Happenings…

It’s been quite some time since I have offered any specifics about daily life in our house.  One reason is that life is all too ordinary around here and I don’t imagine most of my readers care to read about what’s cooking or what color we recently painted the kitchen (blue for those who do care).  However, since I write often about  my deep fondness for homemaking and family life, I think it’s appropriate to offer a glimpse of what goes on around here from time to time.

Lil’ Princess is 3-years and 7 months old now. She wasn’t even a year-old when I started this blog!  We are fully engrossed in figuring out ways to nurture her curiosity, educate her without prematurely forcing her into formal homeschool, and train her to behave consistently. I’ll be honest. Since she came into our lives after our older children were already in middle school, she was spoiled a lot by my husband. I think it was the excitement of having a baby in the house after more than a decade. We invested very little effort in child training for the first two and a half years of her life. We were also sleep deprived as Sweetie Pie came home just as her charm spell began to wear off, affecting our diligence even more. Now we’re playing catch up, but thank God, we are catching up. When we stopped to think about it, we were astonished at our lackadaisical discipline, because we were so much more diligent with the older ones. As we have come to ourselves and began the hard work of handing out consequences for disobedience, it has been a challenging  task, but she, and we, are shaping up.

In the learning arena, our “school” consists mainly of reading aloud, really fun science activities from this book, and arts and crafts. Lil’ Princess recognizes all of her alphabets, and most of their sounds. I hope to build on her growing phonemic awareness over the next several months since she actually appears to be interested in learning to read. Another really fun educational game that the whole family enjoys playing with her is colors and shapes bingo. I found it at a local learning store and it was a wonderful find. So much fun! She is  now so adept at recognizing shapes and colors that she sometimes calls out the colors and shapes when we play the game. She also enjoys playing  this matching memory game with her dad. He feels cultivating her memory early is extremely important. We’ve had this game since our big girls were little ones!

Sweetie Pie is three months away from her second birthday and we are in the thick of potty training. I’ll spare you the gory details. She loves being read to and singing songs such as “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” and “Yes, Jesus Love Me.” Her absolute favorite is “The Wheels on the Bus Go ‘Round and ‘Round”.  Sometimes she likes to lead prayers. Even though we rarely understand what she is saying besides “Amen”, we let her do it because it’s good for her and she does NOT like being left out!

My firstborn is a sophomore and is eagerly preparing for her junior year. I don’t know if this is possible in other states, but here in FL, students with high enough GPA’s and who have shown sufficient aptitude on the oh-so-important statewide standardized test are eligible for what is known as dual enrollment. It’s where you can take college courses while still attending high school. Some classes are offered on campus as local community college professors travel to the school to teach the students. In some cases, the student has to travel to the local community college. The beauty of this setup is that if you’re taking these classes while still in high school, all you have to pay for are the books. No tuition fees are charged. See, there are many ways to skin the cat of getting a degree without incurring a mountain of debt. If all goes according to plan, my daughters will be halfway to an Associate’s degree at the same time they graduate high school.

I am still working on the details of feeding my family a healthier, more nutritious diet. We are eating far fewer prepared foods in recent weeks and I feel much better physically. As I have compared my goals with my budget, the plan is beginning to take shape. For us, it’s worth investing in good whole grains and whole wheat flour, as well as organic apples and carrots, which I think I may have mentioned in a previous post. Other than that, we will be buying conventional foods rather than processed, but they won’t be organic. It is going to be an uphill battle as initially I underestimated the amount of processed food we eat in our house. I think it is time for me to end my research and act on the information I have gathered to the best of my ability. Focusing too much on what is wrong with virtually everything on the grocery store shelves does nothing to help me accomplish my goals, especially since I can only do what it is in my power (and budget) to do. 

The seedlings are started for our little garden where we hope to enjoy a harvest of tomatoes, squash, lettuce, basil, parsley, and rosemary. Last year we did well with the basil and cherry tomatoes. I am not the best gardener. I have a notorious brown thumb and we only got what we did last year because my husband rescued our mini-garden from disaster. I’m getting the hang of it, though and the more we do it, the better it’ll get, at least that’s what I’m hoping. I view learning to grow healthy food in our own backyard as an important part of achieving and maintaining optimum health. Speaking of good health…

I have been working out consistently for the express purpose of being strong, fit  and capable for the many hats I have to wear each day. Back in 2008, when I first joined Brenda for Fitness Fridays, I had a newborn baby and a one-year-old. Between the two pregnancies, I needed to lose 60 pounds. Spurred on by encouragement from the Fitness Friday ladies and motivated by my fitness mantra, “failure is not an option”,  I lost 27 pounds, almost half my goal. In the time since Fitness Friday went on hiatus, I’ve gained back 15 of those pounds and am now faced with having 48 pounds to lose. This has been an uphill battle  largely because I hadn’t accepted that bouncing back from pregnancy in my late thirties is a much bigger challenge than it was in my early twenties. Reality has set in, however, and I am ready to tackle the task before me. Abandoning many of the faulty food myths that have persisted in America about how to eat healthy has armed me with a newfound confidence that I can and will do this.

And finally, today is my wedding anniversary. The husband and I feel tremendously blessed to have a strong and affectionate marriage after all these years  and all these kids.  God is good!

Have a wonderful, worshipful, and family-filled weekend!

Teaching My Kids How to Cook

Teaching my girls how to bake has been fairly easy. Because baking requires precise measurements, in most cases, if you follow the recipe and watch your baking times, your dessert will come out just right. So my girls can bake a batch of cookies pretty well. Brownies and cakes aren’t hard to bake either. We haven’t tackled pie crusts yet because, well, I’m still in the process of mastering that my self. Cooking however, has been more of a challenge because the dishes that I have perfected over the years have been as a result of trial and error. I use cook books and recipes occasionally when trying something new, but the meals my family loves best are the ones for which I follow no formal recipe.

I realize that the easiest way to teach them how to cook things like baked macaroni and cheese, for instance, is to simply bring them into the kitchen with me, letting them watch me cook, help me out, and guiding them through the process. We do that sometimes. It’s just that most times I don’t really know why I add a certain amount of salt or how I know the right amount of basil to put in my meatballs- I just do. It’s hard sometimes to explain what you’ve learned simply from doing something over and over until you got it just right.

So I’m making them a cook book. When I make certain dishes, I’m writing down, in my own words, what I’m putting in, how much, and if possible, why. That way when they begin to make, say, black bean soup, they can adjust it match the flavor that works for them. I actually started this a few weeks ago and I’m finding that this way harder than I thought it would be. How on earth do chefs write dozens of cook books in their lifetimes?! My original timetable was one month to put together 12 recipes to start with. It’s going to take a little longer than I thought it would.

That’s okay, though because I am determined to finish this project because I want my girls to be able to cook healthy, delicious meals for their families one day. The best way to do that is cooking from scratch. And if they can do that before they get married, their husbands won’t have to suffer like mine did while I was teaching my self how to cook!

Nope, I Haven’t Arrived!

Despite my most valiant efforts to be a great mom, parenting adolescent girls sometimes tests my capacity to respond in a mature, godly manner in every situation. I sometimes think: I have really good kids. I can only imagine what it’s like for parents whose kids are a real challenge.

This morning, I made a simple and polite request of my daughter. She didn’t feel like doing it and felt free enough to tell me so. (Is that even okay?) My not so mature response was: “If I went with my feelings every time you asked me to do something, you wouldn’t get much out of me!” I know that it was the wrong answer. Not only was it not true, because I love taking care of my kids, but it sent the message that I don’t enjoy taking care of hem. How awful!

Yes, I apologized and I’m pretty sure that my daughter knows it was a knee jerk reaction to her flippant attitude, said to make a point. It’s just that I never pictured myself as the kind of mom who would behave that way. And the worst part is that since my girls entered their adolescent years (I’m trying to avoid the word “teen”), I am finding that I’m tempted more and more to say the wrong thing. Most of the time, I’m aware enough to think before I speak.

My biggest concern is for those days when my patience is short, my schedule is full and my body is tired. Those moments when it’s hard to take the time to think (and pray!) before I respond. Thankfully, they don’t happen every day, but they happen enough for me to be concerned that I am really blowing it. Andrea, who is also parenting an adolescent, wrote recently about the importance of continuing to express love to our kids- particularly when they are behaving in a less than lovable way. I didn’t do that this morning.

I must face the fact that no matter how hard I try, I am irreparably human, as prone to making mistakes as the next person. The challenge now is to get past the condemnation and move on to the next thing. What’s past is past and I know that when my daughter gets home she will have forgotten this morning’s spat and come in with a new list of favors to ask of me. I’ll fulfill the reasonable requests, and shun the ones that she knew I would before she even asked. Life will go on as normal. It is on days like these that I am particularly grateful for the grace of My Father to help me along on this journey of motherhood.