Little Maya was born Tuesday at 9:41 am. She weighs 8 pounds, 8 ounces.
Pictures to come VERY SOON, I promise.
Keep us in your prayers. She has some fluid in her lungs that is causing some rapid breathing, meaning she’s in the NICU for right now. The C-section went fine. I’m feeling pretty good.
More news to come as I hope to be going home tomorrrow. Pray that our little girl can come home with me.
Posted in pregnancy
I have spent the past month making a mental checklist of all the things I need to do to get ready for our new addition but very little time actually getting prepared. Well the clock is ticking furiously so I spent the past weekend nesting.
A few final pregnancy related notes:
Feel free to pray for me and my family in a few areas. First, that we will have a safe and healthy delivery and baby. Also, that we can come up with a name. Another area of major concern for me is successful nursing. With the Princess, I had to rely primarily on pumped milk because she was unable to achieve a proper latch due to having a mild case of torticollis, which most babies grow out of with proper exercise of the neck muscles, and she did grow out of it. However, by the time she did she was pretty well accustomed to drinking from the bottle. Pray that, Lord willing, this time we will have successful nursing from day one. And lastly, we are in the process of redistributing the kids throughout the house as we make room for the baby. The idea that I feel cramped by trying to raise 6 kids in a four bedroom house is laughable considering I knew families when I was growing up who raised 8 to 10 kids in houses with 3 or 4 bedrooms! Yes, I can do the math: 2 kids per room. In any case, prayers would be appreciated.
I’m pretty sure I’ll get in at least two more posts between now and Monday. Whether or not they’ll be worth the read is another matter.
Posted in blogging on blogging, pregnancy
And I mean a lighter note figuratively speaking, because I feel like I swallowed a 12 lb. turkey, whole. After posting some pretty heavy and somber stuff the past week, I thought this would be a good time for a pregnancy update. I feel pretty good, but I am exhausted!
If I’m on my feet more than 20 minutes, I feel like I ran a marathon. Not that I’ve actually ever run a marathon, but I imagine if I did, this would be what it feels like. You may have noticed that my menu was not updated this week. It’s not because I didn’t make one. I did. I just didn’t cook much either. The husband cooked one night. The kids made sandwiches another. I cooked a couple of very simple meals 2 nights this week. Frankly, I’m pretty tired. But it’s a blessed, happy kind of tired. My baby shower is tomorrow and my daughter’s piano recital is tomorrow night, so we have a big weekend ahead. The anticipation of meeting our new addition is setting in for all of us. It won’t be much longer now!
If all goes according to plan, we’ll be meeting this new baby in 18 days, May 13, 2008. I know it’s not the natural, spontaneous way that babies are meant to be born, but I’ve made peace with the particulars concerning my pregnancy. It is what it is. And while a C-section isn’t my first choice, I’ve decided to look on the bright side. I know EXACTLY when the baby will be born and am planning accordingly. We’re pulling out the Princess’ car seat, bassinet, onesies, and other things. Washing everything up and getting it ready for the new baby. Of course, if it’s a boy, her clothes won’t be much use, but we have the big stuff covered.
We are drawing a big fat blank on baby names. Maybe after we see the baby, we’ll know exactly what he (or she) should be called, but right now, we got nothin’. I believe the Lord will put a name on our hearts when the time comes. For one thing, we care deeply about what names mean in addition to what it sounds like, which makes it a little more difficult. In scripture, children were never given a name because it was trendy or cute. It meant something. This child’s name has to mean something virtuous. What a task!
This has been the hardest pregnancy I’ve ever experienced, hands down. Even harder than my twins. I’m not quite sure why, other than the fact that I’m a little older now. But I had the Princess in 2006, and that was a delightful pregnancy. I enjoyed every minute of it. Of course when I was pregnant with her, I didn’t have to chase an energetic toddler around either! In any event, I’m looking forward to getting my body back, despite the fact that it will be a much larger body than I had before. This means I’ll need to lose a little weight. Okay, a LOT of weight. But I’m up to the challenge. Or at least I will be after I recover from the delivery, settle into a routine, and adjust to living on 3 or 4 hours of sleep per night.
That’s it on the pregnancy front. If anything new develops, I’ll let you know. I just figured it was time to take a break from the heavy stuff for a while and since I haven’t done a pregnancy update in a while, I thought this would be an excellent detour!
Have a wonderful weekend!
Posted in pregnancy
My wonderful sisters-in-law escorted me to B*bies’R’Us yesterday and compelled me to open and add items for a baby registry. One of my dear sisters-in-law, who is two weeks further along in her (first ever) pregnancy than I, did her gift registry at least two months ago. It never occurred to me to register for baby gifts because I don’t need much. I have a child who is barely out of infancy and most of her things (crib, car seat, etc.) are still in excellent condition. However, after giving it a little thought I remembered that I could use a new diaper bag, some t-shirts, pacifiers, and other incidentals that I don’t have left over from the Little Princess. And of course, if this baby is, as we hope, a boy, there will the issue of a more masculine wardrobe fit for a Little Prince.
As I walked the aisles of this massive baby store I was struck by the number of items displayed that, in my opinion, serve no real purpose other than to increase the retailers’ bottom line. A $220 gliding swing that mimics the motion a mother makes when she rocks her baby? $300 cribs with matching $300 rocking chairs that had matching $120 ottomans came in various styles, fabrics, and colors. And of course, you can’t bring baby home without first spending at least $1000 on decorations ranging from crib and bumper sets, matching diaper stacking bags, and wall decorations, each sold separately of course. And my personal favorite: wipe warmers. I bought one of these with Little Princess because for some reason she hated having her diaper changed. I thought warmer wipes might make it more pleasant for her. But in the time it took me to get the wipe from the warmer to her bottom, it was cold again! I took it back to the store about two days after we bought it. Don’t even get me started on the numerous brands and varieties of VERY expensive baby formulas. That seems the most unnecessary when you consider that Mom makes an endless supply for free!
Now I’ll admit, when we had our first child, I, like most new moms I’m sure, invested too much of my dh’s hard earned pay in “must have” baby gear that it turned out I didn’t have to have, after all. And thankfully my sister, sisters-in-laws, and friends gave me baby showers that netted more baby gear than I could use anyway. However, with each new addition, my list of must-haves got shorter and shorter until this time my registry list was only one page long, and that was only one side of the page!
As we left the store I thought, “No wonder people think that children are too expensive”, and postpone having them until they feel they can afford them. If I was a new mom, I would have been overwhelmed with vast number of items in various styles, colors, and brands staring at me. As the store manger gave me the new parents checklist, supposedly a list of everything we would most certainly need upon baby’s arrival, I can honestly say that we would do fine without at least half of the items listed. I did however, get some great coupons and free baby shower invitations that I didn’t think I’d need until my sister-in-law insisted that there was no way our family would see a new baby added who hadn’t been “showered”, even it was our fifth baby. Sometimes I take for granted how blessed I am.
All of this got me to thinking about how vital the Titus 2 relationship is. If more young women had someone to mentor them and teach them the difference between what’s necessary and what’s not, they could see that having a new baby doesn’t have to mean breaking the bank. The transition to motherhood would be so much smoother and young moms wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed when they suddenly find themselves at home, alone, and responsible for this new little life that God has blessed them with.
There are so many things that women can learn from one another when we take the time to nurture relationships the way God’s word tells us to. I realize that taking care of our homes and families is a full time job and I’m not suggesting that we spend all or even more than a small amount, of our time gadding about and talking about the things that we should be busy doing. But as I and one of my sisters-in-law (who is a mother of 6), walked, talked and shared our experience with our sis-in-law who is about to be a first time mom, I couldn’t help but the notice the considerable number of expectant moms walking around with the registry scanner, looking fairly overwhelmed and confused. In most cases they were alone. Occasionally one would ask our opinion on a particular item and we offered as much guidance as we could. But how much better it would have been for them if they, like my young sis-in-law, were being accompanied by an older, more experienced mom to show them the ropes.
Posted in family life, pregnancy
Since becoming acquainted with the overwhelming expanse that is the Christian blog world, I have come to realize that while strong convictions are good, presenting personal convictions as absolute truth with no allowance for exception or clear Biblical directives can cause our sisters in Christ to wrestle with a guilt and condemnation that is unreasonable, not of God, and counterproductive to having a fruitful spiritual life. We must keep in mind that over the course of time many women read our blogs regularly, develop connections with us, and take much of what we say to heart. Whether or not that should be the case, we still have a responsibility to be aware of this when we publish the truth as we see it.
I realized this recently when I shared in a post that due to various medical reasons, I will be delivering by c-section for the third time, and most likely this will be our last child. The comments overall were encouraging. Given the recent trend of many Christians to revisit Psalm 127 and trust God with their family size (which, incidentally, I think is great thing) I was not surprised by comments suggesting the possibility of finding a new doctor. I was also not surprised to receive emails gently encouraging us not to make any hasty decisions as it relates to our future fertility. While I realize that all of this was offered in the spirit of love and understanding, I wondered how much of it was motivated by the conviction that to ‘play god’ by deciding whether or not to have more babies is somehow sinful.
For the record, I think this current societal trend of viewing our children as burdensome, financial drains to be disgusting. And what’s worse, this idea has even infiltrated the church. The idea that what God calls a blessing can be viewed as a curse among people who claim to embrace His word is deeply disturbing to me. The idea of making fertility decisions based purely on financial convenience and personal freedom is something I think the church needs to confront and discourage. Of course, maybe people who can view their own children through such selfish eyes shouldn’t have any.
On the other hand, as PamelaK stated in the comments of my earlier post, we have more medical knowledge now than was available in days of old. There was a time when it was not at all unusual for women to die in childbirth, my own mother being a case in point. To imply that making decisions based on sound medical information denotes a lack of faith on our part is presumptuous at best. If, as Christians, we have no problem taking an aspirin when we have a headache, or giving our children a tablespoon of cough syrup when they have a cold without feeling like we have compromised our faith, how much more so a couple when deciding issues that could mean the difference between whether or not their existing children have to grow up without a mother? Been there, done that, and I can tell you that it’s no walk in the park.
I think it’s important that as Christians we are careful to distinguish between issues of sin and righteousness and those things where circumstances may dictate that we make the best possible decision and trust God to determine the integrity of our hearts and grant us His grace. Now it’s important that I note here that we be honest with ourselves about whether or not our circumstances really do dictate that we take steps that go against what God’s word has clearly expressed is His ideal plan for our lives, homes, and families. More often than not, when we say we have no choice, it’s usually closer to the truth to say that we’ve never considered any other choice. Rest assured that’s not the case here.
And lest any of you be worried that I’m growing soft, I am, even as I write this, thinking about a post that I’m sure will be entitled, “The Problem with Being Too Liberal.”
Posted in family life, pregnancy
I haven’t really posted much on our pregnancy progress because 1) most of you have had a baby before and know what this is all about, and 2) who wants to hear about how much weight I’ve gained, how exhausted I am, and how anxious I am to have this baby and see what it is already!
We had an ultrasound about 2 weeks ago and while I was desperately hoping that the suspense would get to my dear husband and he would decide he wanted to know what the sex of this baby is after all, it didn’t happen. So I have no idea whether it’s a boy or a girl.
Due to a myriad of issues, we will be having a cesarean. This will be the third of my four pregnancies to culminate in a surgical delivery and frankly, I find the c-section route entirely less desirable than the wonderful natural birth I had with our oldest. I thought it would be avoidable, but the truth is there are very few doctors willing to even attempt a vaginal birth on a mother who has already had more than one c-section, so it is what it is. We’ll just pray for a healthy delivery, a speedy recovery, and God’s grace through the whole process.
Of course, this whole thing leads to another dilemma: After this, would I really want to continue having surgery after surgery (having c-sections) should I continue to bear children? I’m closer to 40 than I am to 30 (36, to be exact) and I don’t know if my body could take it. Well, frankly, I don’t have to know because the husband says that he doesn’t want me to continue to go under the knife to bear children. So if the doctors say that’s the only type of delivery I’ll ever have, this is it. Most people would say that 5 children is more than enough, but I’m really not all that interested in conventional wisdom when it comes to this. God’s heart on the matter is more important.
On a lighter note, now that I am unmistakably expecting, the baby is kicking and things are progressing at what seems like breakneck speed, I’ve began talking more to my Little Princess about the fact that we are having a baby. I know that at only 17 months she probably doesn’t understand much of this, but she does touch my tummy and say “baby”, so that’s a start.
Since we don’t know what the gender is, I’ve started thinking about baby names for both boys (please let it be a boy!) and girls so that we’ll have some idea of what this child’s name will be. I was considering just waiting until we see the baby and spontaneously giving him/her a name, but that won’t work for us because we want our child to have a name that means something virtuous. So the search has begun. Any suggestions?
Posted in pregnancy
Today, I have to go have the second of two blood draws for a genetic screening test they highly recommend for pregnant women of “advanced maternal age.” I’m 36! While we decided against most of the recommended testing because it’s simply too dangerous, invasive, and expensive, we went along with this one because we figured that a little advanced information can’t be all bad. The doctor says it has to be done before my 18th week because it’s the optimal time to detect any genetic abnormalities. Of course they also pointed out that this would give us time to make any necessary decisions about the future of the pregnancy if the testing is done before 20 weeks. We have repeatedly and emphatically stated that there are no alternatives to continuing the pregnancy, but liability concerns being what they are these days; medical professionals are obligated to give us all relevant information.
Thankfully, I am starting regain a little of my energy, I’m beginning to get into more of a routine with the little one (thanks for all the great advice you guys gave!), and while I still have moments of fatigue, overall I’m feeling pretty good. I’m breaking out the maternity wear now because we’ve gotten to the point where almost none of my clothes fit. The pregnancy always seems more real when the maternity clothes enter the picture. It’s no longer just in the way you feel: you can see the changes outwardly, which is neat.
I’m not sure if I mentioned this before, but it’s practically raining babies in our family right now. My brother’s wife is expecting their third child in May. My husband’s younger brother and his wife are expecting their first child in May, and we’re expecting our fifth in May, as you already know. And we all live in the same city! This is going to be so much fun. We are a blessed family indeed. Thanks again for all the encouraging words and well wishes. I’ll be sure to keep you posted with any further developments. Oh, and my husband has decided that we will wait to find out the baby’s gender when it enters the world in May. So, I guess I’ll have to muster up all the patience I can, relax, and wait until the big day. With four girls, I’m of course hoping for a little prince, but the Lord knows best. Hopefully, the suspense won’t kill me.
Posted in pregnancy
One of the wonderful things about having daughters who are closer to being young ladies and are no longer young children is that they can be an invaluable help when I need it most. Though they each have their individual chores and responsibilities, I try not to lean on them too much to do things around here that I feel are primarily my duties to fulfill. However, this pregnancy, while uneventful overall, has been marked by terrible bouts of fatigue in the afternoons. It’s all I can do not to let myself pass out at about 4 every day and nap for a couple of hours. Since that’s the time when I’m getting dinner going, I have to resist.
Thankfully, my girls have stepped up and are superb prep cooks and sous chefs. They peel potatoes, shred carrots, make salads, and do all the little things for me that make it so much easier to get dinner on the table with a lot less effort than it would normally take. So to those of you who feel overwhelmed with a brood of very young children, take heart. Keeping home does get easier when they are able to help out in a substantial way.
Because I can pretty much count on having about a teaspoon of energy as the day progresses, I’ve had to start getting up extra early to get a lot of my work done when my energy level is at its peak- in the morning. I’m a morning person by nature and am usually up and going by 6 most mornings. Well, now I’m up and at it at 5:30. That half an hour makes a huge difference with my productivity. I am surprised at how much more I’m getting accomplished.
In other pregnancy news, I went to the doctor the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. The nurse and my OB were both concerned that at 14 weeks, I hadn’t gained weight. I assured her it isn’t for lack of eating. Up until a couple of weeks ago I had an insatiable appetite for barbecue potato chips. And I’m really not much of a potato chip eater! I was concerned that if I didn’t get a handle on it, I was going to gain too much weight. So I stopped eating chips cold turkey. Given that I’ve never been a particularly small woman AND I hadn’t shed all the weight from my last pregnancy (which ended 15 months ago), I really didn’t think my lack of weight gain thus far was much of an issue. I have been trying to eat healthy and I’ve always been committed to regular exercise so I figured my OB was just overreacting. Well, I got on the scale today and thought, the doctor would be pleased with this: 3 pounds in the last 2 weeks! Crisis averted. The combination of Thanksgiving dinner coupled with lots of fellowship with friends and family the whole weekend made its mark.
I know it’s the doctor’s job to be concerned with the health and progress of my pregnancy and that of my baby. It’s just that sometimes they seem to worry too much. I won’t even get into all the pamphlets, blood tests, and other types of tests they start suggesting when you’re an expectant mom over the age of 35-I’m 36. We’ll save that for another post. Anyway, the baby’s growing, I’m growing, and all is well. That’s what’s new on the pregnancy front. We still haven’t decided whether or not to find out the baby’s gender. I have about 6 weeks before my next ultrasound so there’s plenty of time to figure all that out.
Posted in family life, pregnancy
Yep, we are having another baby! I will be delivering our 5th child sometime in mid-May. I know many of you will post comments of congratulations and prayers of good health and a safe delivery, and for that I thank you. It means more than I can say. There will, however, be a fair number of people who think that we have fallen off of our rockers to even consider trying to raise 5 kids. To that end, I have decided to be proactive and post answers to a list of frequently asked questions to expectant parents of more than three kids:
Q: You guys do know what causes that don’t you?
A: Yes, we are well aware of where babies come from. Even if you don’t understand why on earth we’d do this, at least be happy for us that after 4 kids and 13 years of marriage we still ‘get along’ well enough to be making babies.
Q: Did you win the lottery or something? How can you afford that many kids?
A: We don’t view our kids as expensive and burdensome, but rather as gifts from God (Psalm 127). Yes, having a large family requires some sacrifices, but unless we show up at your door, hat in hand, begging for money for diapers, you can safely assume that we are doing just fine.
Q: How do you do it? We can barely handle the two we have!
A: Prayer, faith, and more prayer. That’s the best answer I have for you. We simply do not trust in our own wisdom (Proverbs 3:5-6). We know we’re not smart enough to do this without the Lord. And that’s a great stress reliever.
Q: How can each of them get the attention they need?
A: The best answer I’ve read to answer that question can be found here.
Q: How are you going to find time for your self?
A: Truthfully, that’s not nearly the priority for me that it used to be. A life of blessing is one lived in service to others, and that includes my family, first and foremost. When I need a break, I believe the time will be there. Prayer and faith, remember?
And one of my personal favorites:
Q: How are you going to pay for college for 5 kids?
A: Let me start this rather involved answer that I am all for education and have nothing against getting a college degree. I expect that my kids will all have one. I have one myself. That said, I think we all know our fair share of educated failures and fools. That tells me that success or lack thereof is much more determined by one’s work ethic and strength of character than a degree or lack thereof. Additionally, because we don’t buy into the typical American idea of the “perpetual adolescent”, we have no intention of mortgaging our futures to get our kids a degree with no effort on their parts. If adulthood indeed begins at 18, they’ll get their chance to express their maturity by participating in the financing of their own dreams. We did, and turned out great as well as responsible at a younger age because of it. For more of our thoughts on our kids’ “higher education”, read this post.
It has taken me a while renew my mind from the world’s view of family and raising children. I really do believe that children are a heritage of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. I believe that God has called me to be a fruitful vine in our home (Psalm 128). My family is a great source of joy and comfort to me and we rejoice that God is blessing us with another wonderful new addition.
Posted in family life, fun stuff, pregnancy, thankfulness
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